HOW TO LOOK SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER IN NEW PERSPECTIVE

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You ever find yourself in a social situation and all of a sudden it starts your heart races a hundred miles, an hour your mind blanks out and feel a knot in your stomach or chest and the more you fight it the worse it gets.

So you start doom thinking, you fear all these worst-case scenarios that might happen they probably think I’m a loser and if they pay attention to me I just know that they can see me being anxious.

I got to remain my cool, what if I embarrass myself, what if they start criticizing me, what if they humiliate me.

You see the situation that you’re in through the filter of possible danger and you’re hyper alert to the things that you fear might happen like being disapproved of or made fun of or look foolish and so on and all of these social anxiety symptoms are the result of the fight flight freeze response.

This fight flight freeze response is our built-in survival response that gets activated when our mind perceives danger, now once it gets activated adrenaline gets pumped through your veins blood rushes away from your head and your digestive system into your outer limbs and your throat tightens up it puts your whole system in survival mode.

Now the activation of this response enables you to fight run or hide from the danger that your mind perceives so the social anxiety symptoms that you experience erasing heart mind blanking a lump in your throat, tightness in the chest, the panic the sweaty hands and so on are the result of this fight flight freeze response having been activated.

So while anxiety seems to be the problem you’re trying to overcome it’s actually not the real problem or not the only problem, the real deeper underlying problem is that your subconscious mind perceives you to be unsafe in social situations and because it perceives danger it automatically responds to that danger by firing off the fight flight freeze response which causes you to experience anxiety symptoms.

So since anxiety is merely the result of our mind firing off its built-in response to danger only focusing your efforts on beating your social anxiety won’t work, it’s like hosing water out of a boat with a leak in it.

You’ll stay afloat but until you fix the leak water will keep coming into your boat by dealing with what triggers the activation of your fight flight freeze response you are fixing the leak in your boat.

So to speak to be anxiety free you need your subconscious mind to perceive that you are safe in social situations when your mind belief that you’re safe there no longer is a fight fight freeze response that gets activated, as a result you no longer experience the anxiety symptoms.

When you’re in a social setting, so why does your subconscious mind perceive danger well that’s because of negative limiting belief. Because of these beliefs it reads certain social situations as dangerous and because of these beliefs your subconscious reacts by firing off its automated built-in response to that perceived danger to fight flight freeze response and the fight flight freeze response results in you experiencing something we label as anxiety.

Now in order to change that perception of danger you need to neutralize or change the negative limiting beliefs that are causing your subconscious mind to perceive the danger in social situations.

Once you’ve successfully neutralized or change these negative limiting beliefs your subconscious mind perceives you to be safe in social situations and then the fight flight freeze response won’t be activated and you no longer experience anxiety.

HOW TO CURE SOCIAL ANXIETY

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Social anxiety is a big problem that I know a lot of people have and I’ll be honest with you guys it was something that I struggled with a lot in high school as well as my early days of college see the reason we feel anxious especially in large groups of people we don’t know is because of what goes on in our head.

The moment you walk into a party you immediately think what did they whispering about what do people think about me, am i acting like a fool and because of these thoughts we start feeling anxious.

We feel like everyone is watching us waiting for us to mess up and this was basically me every party I went to I was a nervous wreck but they all changed for me once I started reading a book called what everybody is saying it’s a book written by an ex-fbi agent who teaches you how to read people by looking at their body language, he teaches you things like oh if someone is crossing their arms they’re adopting a defensive position which means they either feel threatened or they’re unhappy with the situation

Another one is oh you can tell if someone wants to leave a conversation by the direction their feet are pointed if her feet are pointed at the door you know, she wants to get out of there as soon as possible things like this and once you learn this stuff once you internalize these concepts you start noticing them more you notice how people are standing where their feet are pointed you can tell who’s nervous, who’s having a good time.

You can kind of guess where a person’s state of mind is that and what happens next is something very – very powerful instead of focusing on yourself all the time your thoughts become focused on the people around you so the next time you’re in a social gathering it’s no longer oh what are people thinking about me.

Oh do I look awkward it becomes oh that’s interesting it looks like he’s not having a good time I wonder why or oh that’s interesting it looks like she is not very interested in him I wonder why and once your dots become focused about other people you realize that no one is really thinking about you.

Most people are in their own head thinking about themselves and once you internalize this once you’ve proven to yourself that. This is true something very special happens you realize that nobody is watching you or what you do once you internalize this concept, your social anxiety can literally disappear overnight so for those of you who really struggle social anxiety start learning about body language and start watching other people.

I guarantee you it will change the way you think and feel around others it’s no longer going to be me me me me me, it becomes you you you and funny enough when you start watching out for others when you start giving a damn about how they feel in a social situation.

How To Cure Depression

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Depression really is a modern age disease. If we take a look at this graph we can see that the average rate for depression for the generation of people who are currently over the age of 60 is 10%.

Which when you think about it is pretty darn high. However, if you look to the left each of these lines represents another generation.

The generation of people who are currently 45 has a rate double that of the 60-year-olds generation. The rate of depression is 20%. And if we look to the far left the generation that is currently around the age of 25 (which is most of you guys) is already at 25%.

If we assume this line continues at the rate is it, it’s estimated that 1 in 2 people will have experienced depression by the age of 60. that’s half of the population.

There’s definitely an issue here. And it’s very apparent that this issue is caused by the massive changes in society today. Because the generation of people who are currently 60 years old lived a very different life from you guys.

They had no access to the internet, no smartphones, there were no forms of social media like Facebook and instagram, there was no way to order things right to their frontdoor. It’s clear that depression is caused by this sudden change in environment.

So what exactly can we do to cure depression? Well, a professor by the name of Steven Ilardi dedicated his entire career to figuring out this question. He and his team conducted dozens of studies and came to a conclusion.

There are 6 things you need to work on in order to cure your depression. These 6 things are all results of the massive amounts of change that we’ve undergone in the past couple of decades.


1. Physical Activity : Physical Activity is something we used to do A LOT of. If you think about it not too long ago we were busy out in the fields tending to our crops all day or in the woods hunting for food.

On average we used to exercise for at least 4 hours a day. Think about your own life … how many hours are you exercising per day? Most people with office jobs have virtually no exercise.

This is a huge difference, But just how effective is the exercise in regards to treating depression. Well… Researchers compared Zoloft (which is one of the leading pharmaceutical drugs on the market right now) with aerobic exercise.

In this case, it wasn’t even a lot of exercise it was only 30 minutes of brisk walking, 3 times a week. The patients who were prescribed the exercise did just as well as those who took the medication.

Funny enough the patients on Zoloft were found to be 3 times more likely to become depressed again after a 1 year follow-up.

One of the reasons why researchers think exercise is so effective is because of what it does to your brain. When you exercise important neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin have increased activity levels.

These same neurotransmitters cause depression when they are at low levels.

And These are the same neurotransmitters all those anti-depressants out there are targetting.

So why take those drugs when you can just exercise and have the same result, without any of those nasty side effects, and on top of all that having a healthier better looking body.


2. Omega-3 Fatty Acids : The supplement community is often split between which supplements you should take. However it’s almost universally accepted that Omega-3 Fatty Acids (which usually comes in the form of Fish Oil) is a must have supplement.

Hell even famous Olympic swimmers were asked if they could just take one supplement for the rest of their life, almost all responded with Fish Oil. =

But why exactly are Omega-3 Fatty Acids so beneficial? To understand this you have to understand how our body deals with fats. These two fats are called essentials fats because we are unable to produce them on our own.

We must get them from outside sources. Omega-6 fats are pro-inflammatory while Omega-3’s are anti-inflammatory. Omega-6’s are found in grains and seeds, animals that eat them or are fed them, and especially fast food which is cooked in them.

Omega-3’s, on the other hand, are found in grasses, plants, algae and the animal that eat them such as fish and free-range animals. The ideal balance of Omega-6 to Omega-3’s is anywhere from 1:1 – 3:1.

This is the balance that most of our ancestors were able to maintain with their natural diets. But when researchers looked at the ratio in modern day Americans they found that our ratio was a whopping 17:1.

This means the average American is heavy on the inflammatory side, and that’s never a good thing. Because if you look at all of the major diseases that plague the modern world like cancer, heart disease, allergies, they’re all under the category of inflammatory diseases.

So with this knowledge scientists hypothesized that maybe if you started supplementing Omega-3’s you could combat all of this. They conducted dozens of studies and found that not only did people who suffer from depression feel better.

But this supplementation also helped with a variety of other diseases like the ones we just mentioned. They found that the ideal dosage for those who have Depression is 1000-2000mg EPA (which is one of the acids in Omega-3’s).

Something very important to note is that if you do decide to purchase fish oil supplements you must refrigerate them or else they will oxidize and essentially become toxic for your body.

You must also make sure the brand of fish oil you are purchasing uses some method to purify the oil, as the majority of fish nowadays are farm bred and contain many toxins.


3. Sunlight : Sunlight is very important for 2 reasons. The first reason is fairly well known, and it deals with a special little vitamin called Vitamin D. Vitamin D comes from your skin when it is exposed to sunlight and is primarily responsible for things like your bone health, your immune system, and muscle health.

However, researchers have also found that a lack of vitamin D will cause problems such as cancers, diabetes, and especially mental health. Vitamin D is actually becoming a very big problem as so many of us are spending more and more time indoors.

In fact, over 40% of people nowadays have a vitamin D deficiency to some degree. That’s a lot of people. So that’s reason number 1 to getting more sunlight – in order to get more vitamin D. Reason number 2 is something that you wouldn’t really expect. See there’s something very special about sunlight that normal indoors light can not provide for us. Sunlight is many many times brighter than indoors light. It turns out that our bodies need sunlight in order to set our circadian rhythms right. This is essentially the bodies internal clock that makes sure you feel tired at the right time, makes sure you get certain hormones at the right time and makes sure you feel sleepy at the right time.

All of these problems have been shown in studies to be a direct link to depression. Imagine feeling tired all day and being unable to sleep. These are common problems that most people with depression have. The only problem is that this clock needs to be adjusted all of the time.

If you were to lock yourself in a black room your body’s clock would start malfunctioning. You’ll think it’s day when it’s night and your hormones will be all over the place. We need bright natural sunlight at least once a day in order to set these clocks right.

Research suggest simply walking outside when the sun is high for just 10 minutes can properly adjust your cycadian rhythm and combat all these potential side effects.


4. Healthy Sleep : Researchers found that disrupted sleep was one of the most potent triggers of depression. They found that people who slept at extremely abnormal times that differed every day were more prone to developing depression.

This means that if you’re the type of person who stays up all night watch shows or playing games you fall into this category.

Healthy sleep translates into 7-8 hours of sleep with some people being outliers. One of the big complaints that you guys probably have are, “well it always takes me forever to fall asleep, so I can’t really control how much sleep I get.” there are a couple of simple tips to combat this.

1. Don’t use a computer or phone an hour before you plan on going to sleep as it prevents the production of melatonin the hormone which makes you sleepy.

2. Only use your bed for sleep and sex. This programs your brain to associate it with sleep

3. Do activities during the day. The ideal day, which is something that our ancestors had was packed with activities so that by the time it was bed time, they were able to fall asleep easily.


5. Anti-Ruminative : Activity Researchers found that the more we ruminate (which is essentially thinking about the past) the more likely we are to get depressed.

You might think well it’s perfectly normal to think about your past a lot isn’t it? Well in small quantities it’s fine but with uprising of technology and the internet more and more people are spending more time alone.

The problem with spending time alone is that you tend to ruminate A LOT. You think about something embarrassing that happened over a year ago. You think about how you used to be bullied in the 5th grade

It’s these types of thoughts that can bring you into depression if repeated enough. In order to combat these researchers suggest that you find engaged activities to partake in. This covers a wide spectrum of things such as any social gathering like clubs, sports, parties.

This also includes Any Solo engaged activities like working on your art/projects. The great thing about finding engaging activites is that they are exciting enough that you don’t really have time to think about the past.

And if they are engaging enough, by the end of the day when you’re about to go to sleep you won’t spend an hour in bed rolling around thinking about that time so and so said something mean to you.

You’ll be tired enough that your mind will be quiet and you’ll quickly to sleep.


6. Social Connection : The 6th and final factor is probably the most important Social Connection. We humans are social creatures, we’ve always stuck in groups.

What made us so durable as a species was our ability to work as a team and overcome any obstacle. This level of teamwork meant humans used to spend the majority of their days with other humans.

This is not the case anymore. In fact Half of Americans report having no close friends (Smith-Lovin 2006).

There are countless studies that support the idea that having a strong social network is vital for a healthy life. In fact a recent sutdy conducted by the University Of Michigan found that bonding with other humans releases certain hormones that reduce stress and anxiety significantly.

Researchers have also found that social isolation will literally cause your brain to shrink. Socializing is simply THAT important. One of the main reasons I believe social connection is such a big problem nowadays is due to a lack of face to face interactions.

We spend so much time on social media communicating, but we barely spend any time face to face. Communicating over social media isn’t nearly as satisfying as speaking with someone in person.

At a biological level this is true as well, the hormones produced in online social media interactions is singificantly different than the ones produced face-to-face. Humans need to be face-to-face in order to build long lasting trust and a deep relationship. Socializing and making friends is something that requires practice and tons of calibration. Nowadays we can hide behind screens and talk via text.

The ability to interact with someone face to face is a skill that is rarely ever practiced. Luckilly for you it’s my job to teach you as much of these skills as possible. Which is why I have dozens of videos on this subject that I will link to in the description below.

And that’s it these are the 6 factors you need to keep in mind in order to combat your depression. These 6 factors have been shown time and time again to work, so I’d advise you to take them very seriouslly. If you found value in this video make sure you subscribe and hit that bell icon. For those of you that want to learn more about building healthy social networks and improve your social skills checkout this video right here.

TYPES OF NARCISSIM

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Four types of narcissism, narcissism and vanity are often considered mirror images of each other. We think of both as being enamored with their own beauty image and self-centered attitudes this however is a shallow representation of what narcissism really is.

Narcissism is a spectrum on one side you have self assurance and confidence which makes for a happy and healthy personality on the other side you have narcissistic personality disorder which is self-centered non empathetic and emotionally draining to be around.

Narcissism and vanity are somewhere in the middle, they’re not healthy. But they’re not as damaging as NPD.

NPD can only be diagnosed by a professional and isn’t something you can develop or catch the seed of narcissism, is usually planted in childhood differences in upbringing make for differences in narcissism and change which narcissistic traits people develop what types of narcissism are.

Narcissistic people it could narciss about either body oriented called the somatic narcissist or personality oriented called the cerebral narcissist :

  1. Somatic narcissists : focus on looking better than everyone else they’re the ones with the fancy clothes perfect hair and gym bodies.
  2. Cerebral narcissists : focus on things like being smarter or funnier than everyone else they’ll start debates in order to win them and live off the praise fed to them

From other people on top of this body mind division there are also four main ways narcissism can present itself :

  1. Overt narcissism : loud outspoken and always right these narcissists tend to be bullies and use their words to tear down the people around them this is the most common presentation of narcissism.
  2. Covert narcissism : sneaky like snakes in the grass, you might not even recognize this person as the narcissist they pretend to be kind and gentle when in reality but they’re manipulative and cold it’s, feeding off the people closest to them they use people as a means to an end to gain money power or fame, whatever they want.
  3. Seductive narcissism : we don’t mean seductive like high heels, and fishnets these narcissists tend to praise and idolize people to them in order to get the same response back they sucker people in with admiration and compliments then drop you with no warning by playing hot and cold they keep you on the hook and get their ego constantly fed.
  4. Vindictive narcissism : these people aim shoot and destroy they’re the most dangerous of all the narcissists and might be confused with the overt narcissists because of how outspoken they are be warned these people will do and say anything to destroy their victims and often will trash talk and incite anger on other third parties to turn more people against their victim.

 

10 PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTS ABOUT HUMAN FEELINGS

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Hi guys today I’ll be presenting you with 10 amazing psychology facts about human feelings:

  1. there’s actually a phobia for losing one’s phone : nomophobia is a term describing the fear of be without a mobile device or be on mobile phone contact the term is an abbreviation for no mobile phone phobia which was coined during a 2010 study by the UK post office according to the study 54 percent of those questions that they experienced nomophobia overall women were more likely to suffer from nomophobia than men.
  2. Without realizing it we are deeply affected by other people’s moods research calls this phenomena emotional contagion :  this is a natural process that is pre-wired to our brain via mirror neurons that allows the sense and reflect other people’s emotions as stated in the chameleon effect we have a natural tendency to imitate another person’s speech inflections in physical expressions.
  3. In the past few years psychology researchers have found a good deal of literal truth embedded in the metaphorical phrase comparing love to pain newer imaging studies have shown that brain regions involved in processing physical pain overlap considerably with those types of social anguish broken heart syndrome is characterized by normal coronary arteries regional wall motion abnormalities that extend beyond a single coronary vascular bed and often a precipitating stressor it’s a temporary condition that is often brought on by stressful situations such as the death of a loved one.
  4. When we hug the chemical that the brain releases is the hormone oxytocin, it has been hypothesized that oxytocin : a hormone recognized for its role in social attachment in facilitations of social interactions is also important in the formation of trust.
  5. It was proposed in one study that the normal unremarkable experiences associated with everyday living can deplete one’s capacity to resist moral temptations the study proposes that people are more likely to have less self-control when they’re tired another study concluded that the average adult has less self-control as the work day wears on becoming more likely to act immoral by the end of the afternoon it could be tied to the study by the Florida State University that restoring glucose to a sufficient level typically improves self-control and it turns out that in 2009 the Stanford University’s School of Medicine and the circadian rhythms are directly tied to the mechanism that processes blood sugar this works both ways the studies above mentioned that people tend to engage in immoral behavior when they’re tired due to lack of self-control however the lack of self-control can also cause people to let their guard down a little bit and be more honest with their physical conditions.
  6. Desensitization is defined as the diminished emotional responsiveness to a negative or aversive stimulus after repeated exposure to it in a study conducted recently parents were subjected to watching movies that have violence and sex the study then showed that there was an increase in acceptance of both types of content even to the extent of the willingness to show it to their children there’s also evidence of desensitization, and among people who play video games.
  7. I don’t think it’s a new thing when I say that we consider chocolate as the love drug notoriously known for being in aphrodisiac in a good gift for any time of the year chocolate has been a widely known staple for showing love well why is that so it contains tryptophan a chemical in the brain that is used to produce serotonin the feel-good brain chemical that plays a major role in positive mood emotional health proper sleep and balance the appetite it also contributes the numerous behavioral and physiological functions chocolate also contains chemical called phenylethylamine it’s a neurotransmitter that helps promote feelings of attraction excitement and giddiness it works by stimulating the brains pleasure centers.
  8. Psychological research has classified six facial expressions which correspond to distinct Universal emotions : disgust, sadness, happiness, fear, anger and surprise. Theorists have also hypothesized that the universals are to be found in the relationship between distinctive movements of the facial muscles and the particular emotions.
  9. Mirror neurons : are the brain’s hardware for harmonizing individuals to their environment mirror neurons allow us to grasp the mind of others not do conceptual reasoning but through direct stimulation it is because of mirror neurons that you blush when you see someone else humiliated, flinch when someone else is struck and can’t resist the urge to laugh when seeing a group struck with giggles it has been said that these neurons give us the capability for empathy allowing us to feel what other people feel theoretically both physically and emotionally.
  10. Some studies suggest that people dread idleness in an experiment by Christopher C in his colleagues they conducted two experiments that showed that people chose to be idle when there’s no motivators. But even a specious justification can motivate people to be busy and that people who are busy are happier than people who are idle.