Though I speak
with the tongue of angels,

If I have not love,
I am become as hollow brass.
Though I have the gift of prophecy,
And understand all mysteries.
And all knowledge…
And though I have enough faith
To move the mightiest mountains,

If I have not love,
I am nothing.

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
It bears all things.
It hopes all things.
Love never fails.

For prophecies shall fail,
Tongues shall cease,
Knowledge shall wither away.

For prophecies shall fail,
Tongues shall cease,
Knowledge shall wither away.

And now shall abide…
Faith, hope, and love.
But the greatest of these three
Is love.




[ breaking into a walk ]

sometimes we need to walk
to walk farther
but sometimes come back
because we can’t just
walk to forget our
problems or
our struggles or
even my worst enemy
insecurity –
now, i know that
walking isn’t always
fun, but we didn’t know
what else to do.
i, in my life, had never known the
misery of hating
a part of myself
just like we don’t know where
we’re always going.
it was just like this special walk.
I walked from that crowd
from that stress
from those people –
to find my sloppy path of gravel.
sometimes I need a walk too,
to let myself cry
to let myself be alone
& especially to let myself breath in to see to the world
for on this specific walk I saw
the rain in the dew filled sky
above this lake
and the world I was given
in these moments
made my pain a little
easier to bear



Once upon a time I swear I had a heart

Forest Fire

You started a fire in her soul
But tomorrow came
And you left her shivering in the cold
So she gathered what little embers left of her
As she carefullly whispered love to her dying self.

Now she’s a burning forest, as bright as the sun
And all you could do was look at her with awe,
For you’d never imagined that a girl
Looking so fragile, so naive,
Would one day become a fire
That you could never ever put out.

“Life is the art of dying.”


_One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive._

_What a shame, the girl who once believed in fairytales and magic had to be struck by reality with demons in her head and the fear of never being loved._

Ive learnt to never fall in love with somebody.

_Because if they don’t_
_catch you, the landing_
_is rough._

You mustn’t live so lightly,
Spin your stories, tell your tales,
Let them dance across the oceans
And set the wind upon your sails.
For every truth found on your travels
And in the pits of your despair,
Is a shout into forever
Of “I existed, and I cared.”

_À la folie_

To insanity

stuck in a doorway don’t know where u are if they had it your way shooting stars stuck in a doorway don’t know where u are if they had it your way shooting stars it sinks into yr head hell it hurts but its not love it sinks into yr head hell it hurts but its not love it sinks into yr head hell it hurts but its not love it sinks into yr head hell it hurts but its not love stuck in a doorway don’t know where u are if they had it your way shooting stars stuck in a doorway don’t know where u are if they had it your way shooting stars it sinks into yr head hell it hurts but its not love it sinks into yr head hell it hurts but its not love it sinks into yr head hell it hurts but its not love it sinks into yr head hell it hurts but its not love

“I love your silence. It is so wise. It listens. It invites warmth. I love your loneliness. It is brave. It makes the universe want to protect you. You have the loneliness that all true heroes have, a loneliness that is a deep sea, within which the fishes of mystery dwell. I love your quest. It is noble. It has greatness in it. Only one who is born under a blessed star would set sail across the billowing waves and the wild squalls, because of a dream. I love your dream. It is magical. Only those who truly love and who are truly strong can sustain their lives as a dream. You dwell in your own enchantment. Life throws stones at you, but your love and your dream change those stones into the flowers of discovery. Even if you lose, or are defeated by things, your triumph will always be exemplary. And if no one knows it, then there are places that do. People like you enrich the dreams of the world, and it is dreams that create history. People like you are the unknowing transformers of things, protected by your own fairy-tale, by love.”

Ben Okri, Astonishing the Gods

The moon on a clear, starry night
The feelings of lips on skin
Of shattered glass and broken doorways
The campfire burning in the dark
And the forgotten dreams of those who are lost

She was a sunlit meadow
Of cicadas chirping and gently blowing wind
The kiss of a lover from long ago
The feeling of finding something not yet found
Of a fresh batch of laundry
I warm nights spent outside
And of places left abandoned, worn with time

I constantly drown myself in my own sea of consuming thoughts
I don’t swim to shore because there is nothing there for me
I bask in my sea of negativity
As it suffocates me slowly without pain
I sink deeper and deeper til I see nothing
Its dark and cold
But I feel just right at home

A Woman can be happy with any Man as long as he does not love her- Oscar Wilde

Lyrics :


I’ve suddenly pondered

Spend my nights awake and I wonder

What I could have done in another way to make you stay

So mama tells me that I shouldn’t bother

That I should just stick to another girl

A girl that surely deserves me

But I think you do So baby, please, don’t go

Baby, please, don’t go

You’re freak

You’re goon

My mama told me not to hangout with girls like you You’re bad news, baby You got holes in your jeans and rips in your skirt

And you walk around like you

Are to be On the cover of the magazines So baby, please, don’t go

Baby, please, don’t go Baby, please, don’t go Baby, please, don’t go

Music So baby, please, don’t go

Baby, please, don’t go




My two bits?

The Nazis are supremacists, they believe they are the Master Race. Their position is that those who don’t join them are weak , they are Untermenschen.
They have the false belief of Social Darwinianism where only the strongest survive. Wrong, Darwin spoke of only those with the ability to change, would become the fittest, the survivours.

Firstly, I believe that to understand where these people are coming from, we must first have empathy with them, the same goes true of Capitalism.
To know them is to beat them at every turn. Think like them and react to what you feel their next step may be. Be one step ahead.

Now, these people do not have any respect for those they deem to be the weaker ones, the ones who should be wiped out, erradicated in any future National Socialist society.

I believe, we must be stronger than them and from there, they both fear us and respect us.
To me, punching a Nazis is a given. Never forget what these people are capable of. Nazi Germany gives us a good insight as to what they will do if they ever get in power in this modern age.

So yes, kick them off the streets and if necessary, I believe that punching them is a very mild reaction compared to what these knuckle draggers are capable of.
Don’t just sit back and be a woosy about all of this. Meet them head on and terrify them with Direct Action.
These, of course are only my thoughts, but whatever, we must rid this scourge of Nazism, White Supremacy, whatever, off our streets, forever.

Just do it.




What is spin? It’s something that apparently some particles have that you can measure… but what is it? In the video I’ll explain how we know spin exists, but also why we don’t understand it.

Spin was a latecomer to the quantum mechanics party. Even after Schrodinger wrote his famous equation, and everything seemed to be working people didn’t realise it existed.

Then people realised that some particles seem to have odd magnetic properties the original quantum mechanics didn’t predict, and the source of that was labeled spin. To understand this we’re going to need one piece of classical electromagnetism theory: Whenever a charged particle moves, it creates a magnetic field.

This is pretty amazing, and you can see it for yourself, by putting a compass next to a charge carrying wire. In fact, if you have charged particles going in a small loop, this not only creates a magnetic field, that field pretty much looks like it’s from a bar magnet.

So then, we expect charged particles moving around, in circles, to act as little magnets. Since that’s something we know from classical physics it was built into quantum mechanics too from the start. But eventually some experiments showed that there must be another source of magnetism.

I’m going to explain one of those, a simplified version of the stern-gerlach experiment.

Let’s say we have a bunch of electrons by themselves. They are charged, but they’re not doing little loops, so they shouldn’t be magnets. We test this by putting them in a Stern-Gerlach apparatus.

I’m not going to explain how the machine works, but what is does is this. If a small magnet is placed inside it measures it’s orientation. If the magnets North pole is up, it exerts an upward force on the magnet.

If the magnet is the other way around, it exerts a downward force. Of course there are other orientations.

If the magnet is like this, the magnet is still somewhat pointing up, so the force is still up, but it’s smaller. It is proportional to how much this magnet is pointing in the up direction. Similarly for this magnet pointing down. Say a magnet is on its side, then it has no force at all. But these aren’t the only ways the magnet can be oriented.

It could be forward or backward or left or right, or any combination, so what happens there? Well, this machine only measures how much the magnet is up or down. If the magnet is like this, it’s pointing a bit upward.

On the other hand, if a magnet was just pointing left or right or forward or backward, it wouldn’t feel any force and so it would go straight. So what expect is, if we shot through a bunch of magnets in random orientations, they all land between here and here and in a pretty smooth distribution. Of course, if we threw in a non magnet, it wouldn’t feel anything, and just go through. So that’s what we should expect with electrons. But we do the experiment and find something really odd.

The electrons do experience forces as if they’re magnets, but they don’t spread out smoothly either. half of them go up to the same height, and the other half go down, again, to the same height. Let’s look at this second mystery first.

If electrons really are magnets, we expect they’re randomly oriented, but these results would be like saying that for some reason, half of them where pointing exactly up and half exactly down. Well, maybe we did something very wrong when we prepared them that meant this happened. So to test that, let’s do something clever.

Let’s turn the stern gerlach machine on its side. What that does is, now the machine measures how much the magnet is pointing to the left or the right, instead of up and down.

The more to the left a magnet is pointing, the more to the left it goes. If a magnet isn’t pointing either left or right, it just goes through.

Now let’s use the same source of electrons we had before. We think that they’re all pointing up or down, so if they go through this machine, they shouldn’t be deflected at all. What happens?

Half of them go right, half of them go left. So then were they actually oriented left and right all along? But that can’t be right either.

Let me explain how to think of this in the framework we built up in the last couple of videos. I can measure the up or downness of a particle, so that is an observable. What are it’s eigenstates?

Well, this experiment showed that the particle can only be fully up or fully down, and nothing in between, so there are only two eigenstates. We’ll call them spin up and spin down. Now we can apply the quantum mechanical principle that, to fully describe the wavefunction of this particle, we only need to describe it in one basis, so I can fully write the state of this particle in terms of up and down.

This is weird, because in classical physics this wouldn’t be enough to tell you the state of a magnet. I can’t just tell you how much it’s pointing up or down, I need to also tell you how left or right it is, and also how forward or backward.

But in quantum mechanics, this is enough.

Let’s see what happens when we do some arbitrary combination.

Here, since the square of this number is bigger, it has a bigger chance of being spin down, but still can be spin up. It doesn’t go ¾ of the way down ever though, it’s only ever up or down. But what about if I flipped the machine on it’s side to measure left rightness? In Quantum mechanics, if you tell me the wavefunction in terms of up and down, I should be able to figure out what the wavefunction is in terms of left and right. To be able to do that, we just need to know how to convert up and down to left and right, but how? The coefficents should be equal in size, if we use the classical analogy.

A particle that’s fully up can’t be pointing either left or right at all. A quantum particle that’s up, but is being measured for left and rightness must go one way or the other, but at least, it shouldn’t be biased towards one side. Now we just need to decide the sign of each of these.

If we agree to call this way right and that left, then this turns out to be the right way to do it. And this is something you’ll recognise from the last two videos. Ok, so now I’ve shown you how quantum mechanics deals with spin, let’s return to the must more difficult question, ‘what is spin?’

The electrons aren’t doing little loops, so why are they magnetic? This is what was originally proposed: the electrons are spinning on their own axis. The idea is, if you have a charged ball that’s spinning, that means bits of charge are moving in a circle, and so it creates a magnetic field like a bar magnet.

But we know this is wrong. If this really was true, we can calculate how large the electron should be- it’s bigger than the whole atom. It also makes some other incorrect conclusions. These days we think the electron isn’t a ball, it’s an infinitely small point- and that can’t spin.

I think this image of the electron spinning, is really more harmful than helpful- not just because it makes all kinds of incorrect predictions, but because feeling like we understand something stops us from asking about what it is.

But, making this video I realised there’s lots of other physics terms I don’t understand. What is energy? What’s charge? It seems like we define those things by how we measure them, and then same is true for spin, spin is that thing that makes some particles act a bit like magnets.

I really hope that, in the future as we understand more physics, more of these terms can be understood in terms of deeper physics. There is some hope for spin. I told you that spin had to be added to quantum mechanics in an ad hoc way.

This is true, but when Dirac tried to merge standard quantum mechanics and relativity, something in his new equation acted a lot like spin. While this was awesome, I don’t feel like it solves the mystery of spin, because while it comes out of the maths, it still doesn’t explain what it is, or why relativity demands it exists.

Maybe there are some properties of physics we can never understand, and maybe spin is one of them. There was so much more I could have said about spin but I ran way over time.