DIARY #1


“Don’t try to contact me again. I don’t wanna see your face.”, she said. How can she say that? The same girl who hugged me tight enough to suffocate a bacteria in between now don’t wanna see my face.


There is a wife who feel tired after a hard day’s work; when her husband comes home, also tired, but horny, he tells her: “I cannot make love to you now, but I need a release—can you suck me and swallow my sperm? That would help me a lot!” The wife replies: “I am too tired to do that now, darling—why don’t you just masturbate into a glass, and I will drink it in the morning!”


Ada seorang pekerja dengan bayaran UMK sedang duduk di warkop, kemudian datanglah pengusaha yang dipastikan perusahaannya akan bangkrut. Si pengusaha berkata “maukah kau bekerja padaku, dengan upah jauh di bawah UMK agar perusahaanku selamat?” si pekerja menjawab: “pekerjaanku sudah sangat melelahkan, bagaimana jika kau menggantikan pekerjaanku dan akan ku upah kau 8,25% dari gajiku!”


We are the broken, the ones who have strength, not from lifting weights but from picking ourselves up so many times after being kicked down and beaten. But we will keep coming at life with everything we’ve got! You may have scars all over your body, but it’s that’s ok because I do to. But they make you stronger each day. Never think of them as a burden. They are the past, and you were strong enough to make it to the future and gave life a second chance when you decided to put the blade down.


While everything else in my life is falling apart, you’re the one thing that keeps me happy. The whole world could be against us yet I’d still choose you until you tell me not to.


Everyone seems to be drifting away. Even my close friends. Nothing bad has happened but it’s like people are slowly growing distant and hardly talking. Maybe I’m overthinking but this how people leave eventually. I don’t wanna lose anymore friends.


The most defining moments you’ll have is when you’re alone. When you don’t think you can bare much more. When you’re crying in the corner or on the bathroom floor. Those moments will define you because that’s when it’s you vs life.


The biggest communication problem is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply


Don’t judge my scars until you’ve walked through the same fires that have left me burned


We are all broken….
That’s how the light gets in

-Hemingway


I wish you knew how I felt. I wish you would suffer the way I am. And if you were suffering, I’d be there to pick up your pieces. Just like a was the times before. I’ll always be there. I’ll be there today, tomorrow, and I was there yesterday.


I bet we have all been to the season of sleepless nights with empty bottles of beers and ashes of cigars. If not yet, then wait for it. We have all been in front of the mirror. We have all stared blankly at our reflection as we tried to wipe away the tears that welled up in our eyes, and we hate how they just won’t stop flowing when we want them to. We have all asked ourselves the FAQs: What the hell is wrong with me? Why the hell am I not enough? We have all despised ourselves for being so stupid. Little did we know that it is not us, it is them. We do not deserve the people who made us doubt our worth. We do not deserve their love. If they sincerely loved us, they would not have done that. But they did. They destroyed us.


I wish I could find you,
Inside me.


If I Dont let you control me then. I Dont exist to you?

What kind of love is that?


We’re all puppets, I’m just the puppet that see the strings.


I will never be a morning person,
For the moon and I,
Are too much in love.


Golden sun falls through your windows but your smile is cold as snow, it seems your summer on the surface hides a winter far below.


“Maybe it was your brown eyes. Maybe it was your scent, maybe it was your hands, they were so common, but so original. You were my happy place, you were my safe haven, you were my home. But I guess, we move homes sometimes because of leaks and cracks, and it wasn’t the home that was damaged, it was my heart, it was my feelings for you, it was everything.”


We are desperately seeking connection. If we’re not happy, I want people to connect through their pain, not their fake smiles. If we can admit that we are all hurting, then we can collectively learn to overcome our sadness and our fears as a family.

We must have the courage to let go of the superficial drama, even just momentarily, so that we have the open ears and eyes to truly discover ourselves.


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