How We Love Now

The more the merrier, it’s better to have more options. Tinder. How many people are you talking to? Lead them on, break their hearts, lead them on again, continue being unsure of your feelings, continue being in the grey area, continue being “casual” for as long as you can. Don’t have that conversation just yet. No strings attached. Friends with benefits. Somebody that I used to know. Go out, get drunk, and hook up with random people to numb the pain and fill that void, keep pretending that you like it, that you are OK with it. Keep pretending that you are OK with the emptiness you feel when you are sleeping next to someone who doesn’t know who you really are and what keeps you up at night.

How We Love Now

You wait a couple of hours to text back, you use social media to communicate your innermost feelings, you play games so you don’t come off as “needy” or “thirsty” or the person who cares more. You hide your feelings behind an emoji or a perfunctory smile when that person forgets to respond to your text, or your question, or your needs. You silence your voice because you have to be chill, patient, and independent. We think it’s better to be with someone who silences our voice than to be lonely. So you keep texting until the words lose all their meaning.

How We Used To Love

Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you
Tomorrow I’ll miss you
Remember I’ll always be true
And then while I’m away
I’ll write home every day
And I’ll send all my loving to you

How We Love Now

What do you mean?
When you nod your head yes
But you wanna say no
What do you mean?
When you don’t want me to move
But you tell me to go
What do you mean?

How We Used To Love

Even though you were fighting, you still talked to each other; you made plans together, ate together, and were there for each other until you made up. You communicated and discussed how you can make it work, how you could avoid this situation in the future, and you reassured each other that everything will be OK, it’s just a fight—it happens.

How We Love Now

You fight, you tell yourself this wouldn’t have happened if you were dating X or Y, you decide to teach them a lesson and dismiss their calls and messages for 3 days, a week, a month, until they learn their lesson. When you make up, you will still be more guarded, a bit harder, and unwilling to put up with their “drama.” So you decide to keep your options open—again—and you try to find someone better, someone less “dramatic,” who could be better looking, more successful or richer.

To Enjoy The Rainbow, You Must First Enjoy The Rain

Raining and dripping all over my heart
My arteries are bleeding to death
Blood and water intertwined as one
Losing each and every breath

I lay on the floor as the rain keeps pouring
Ready for the final goodbye
As I collapse, I start to slowly breathe again
Maybe God doesn’t want me to die

The morning after, the sun light infiltrated my heart
Could it be the beginning of the end?
My heart started beating again better than before
Could it possibly be a miracle, heaven-sent?

My heart started dancing to its own beat
Pumping shades of vividly bright light
My heart knew that the rainbow has finally found it
After the rain has gone, they finally reunite

They say the darkest hour comes right before dawn
And sometimes pain can wound each and every vein
But my heart has taught me the essence of life
To enjoy the rainbow, you must first enjoy the rain.


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