INCURABLE : INVADING SOLITUDE WITH USELESS THING


So how is it that you still have the callousness to announce your presence again? Invading my solitude with your useless messages?

Stop adding to the sorrow. I am as restless as it is. Waiting for a new beginning. Repairing what has been left – of what you carelessly left behind. You’ve taken all what I was. Your choice to leave me required me to contemplate on what littlest is left of my faith.

I hope it was simple to choose to move on. To delete you from memory. Deciding between what you deemed past and my present seems a long, tiresome process. And right now, I’m so lazy to even begin it. Because you made me hope. You made believe in happy ever after. Denying me to let go.

Just stop whispering you missed me. Stop declaring you were thinking about me every time you were with her. Stop making an excuse out of the pretense you were protecting me. Because in reality, you were only protecting yourself by hiding me – that dark secret. However you refute these pleas, I realized they were empty words. I often overlook the  fact that you had a great way with words and I was the blind mouse who went with whatever was fed to me, making me believe in a positive outcome. I don’t know if you were ever real anymore. Because right now, doubt is a more tangible belief I need to hold on to in order for me to heal.

I hated the dark.  And you knew it. To be kept in it for this long has made me resent myself even more. And you were oblivious, forcing me to accept it even if it was killing me. You succeeded by playing god to my existence.

I refuse to play a part in your confusion. Take your misery and place it on someone else’s. You have broken me into a million pieces. There’s nothing left to break anymore but you still insist  to worsen the condition, not stopping til I am left in ruins. I think I should anticipate more. Because you’re heartless, inhuman selfish individual.

If those words aren’t loud enough to clear your head, just look at the choices you have on your hand. Obviously, I am not a part of them. Take them. Shove them in til it makes you bloated with arrogance.

I have every reason to be angry and wish you all the worst. I am entitled to such liberties.

Until I can be healed, I can’t wish you the happiness.

Right now, it’s just you and your miserable part in my life that I wish to be rid of. And when I finally forget you, don’t dare remember me.

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