But I mean fuck it I guess, might as well get more use to the loneliness,adapt or die.

through darkness and pain and strife I’ll sing, be, live, see

Let’s be face to face. Holding back our feelings when alone but on the internet posting it like we’re really cuttin the chase. It’s amazing how we can feel another persons emotions from a mile or two away. Almost like the human spirit is an electric wave that can’t be swept away even after the body drops and the pupils have dilated. Because when you’re strong enough to face your demon and hers and his and ours, you’ll see that there’s a mold to be broken. When you dig deep into someone’s skull as you pick out the words that have been seeping through the skin while it’s being spoken. I can’t help but to be the one that wants to save those who can’t save me and to be the one that needs to be saved when I can’t even save myself.

Now as the rain falls like shattered pieces of glass from the sky,
We bleed like water colors and drunken pastels down the stairways.

We were two lost souls
that werent meant for each other
but held on together
because we were too afraid of being alone.

Everything is temporary, emotions, thoughts, people and scenery. Do not become attached, just flow with it.

Deep in the meadow under the willow a bed of grass a soft green pillow lay down your head and close your eyes and when they open the sun will rise

Scream. Scream and release all that negative energy pent up inside you. Scream and imagine your voice is pushing all the negativity away from you. With every inhale, positivity and healing flows through your body and soul. With every exhaled scream, negativity and hurt rushes out of your body and soul. Release all that hurt, anguish, sadness, anger with your most emotionally, gutteral screaming. You are okay. You will heal. It won’t be bad forever.

Manage our expectation
Acknowledge the addiction
Accept the condition
Then move on

I guess that is all survivors have to do. This, of course, without considering the financial or any particular systemic factors that may hinder them to go away from the abuser.

And they make you question everything about your self.

Jadi begitu lo berasa ada yang salah ma kelakuannya, biasanya akan di-gaslight juga atau diputarbalikkan sampai lo yang berasa lakuin kesalahan.

Thus rejected she lies hid
in the deep woods, hiding her blushing face
with the green leaves; and ever after lives
concealed in lonely caverns in the hills.
But her great love increases with neglect;
her miserable body wastes away,
wakeful with sorrows; leanness shrivels up
her skin, and all her lovely features melt,
as if dissolved upon the wafting winds –
nothing remains except her bones and voice –
her voice continues, in the wilderness;
her bones have turned to stone.”

— Metomorphoses, Ovid (8 A.D.)

“survival of the fittest.” In the animal kingdom, the dominant male in a pride of lions fights his way to the top and is the first in line to feast on a group kill at the expense of weaker members who risk starvation when resources are low. Female lions don’t typically pair with those weaker males, they seek to mate with the dominant male in order to maximize the survival of their offspring. So it may be with people, where success can be associated not only with confidence, but dominance and a proclivity for interpersonal exploitation as well.”

How Love Bombing Works

Love bombing is an attempt to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection. We’re not just talking about romantic gestures, like flowers and trips. Love bombing invariably includes lots of romantic conversation, long talks about “our future,” and long periods of staring into each other’s eyes. It’s the combination of words and deeds that makes love bombing so powerful, especially considering today’s technology. The ability to call, text, email, or connect on social media 24/7 makes it easier to be in constant contact with the object of one’s affection than ever before. 

Love bombing works because humans have a natural need to feel good about who we are, and often we can’t fill this need on our own. Sometimes the reason is situational, brought on by an event, like divorce or job loss. Other times, it’s more constant and traces back to our childhood. Whatever the source, love bombers are experts at detecting low self-esteem, and exploiting it. 

This is not to say that idealization by itself is unhealthy in romantic relationships. Over time, all couples can grow to think of each other in these ways, but the key is “over time.” No matter how perfect the connection, how great the sex, or the seemingly endless list of mutual interests, you can’t get to really know someone in less than six months. That’s why “love at first sight” is often a recipe for disaster.



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