SHE

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She dimmed every light
as she closed her tired eyes.
She swore this time
that she would finally be alright.
She stated that she’s fine,
“just leave me behind.”
She always thought
that her bed was so kind.


She thought that it would pass
without a second chance.
That one day she’d sway
and be free from the chains.
But it wasn’t so aligned,
as it never felt right,
as in the midst of the night


she found every knife.
She could write a simple song;
she could appear to be strong.
She could sing into the wall
about everything that’s wrong.


As it wasn’t just a life,
it was one hell of a fight.
And she knows that she swore
that tonight she would try,
with the harmony of okay’s
as blood pooled her thighs.
“just look me in the eyes,
you’ll see clearer skies.


You may now dim the lights
as I close my dreary eyes.
I know that I swore,
but tonight I finally lied.
I’ll see you again,
just not in this life.”

MANIFESTED IMPERFECTION

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We’re just imperfect manifestation of what we’re dreamed to become when we were young. We often cursed ourselves in the lonely nights. That we, not somebody else, had disappointed ourselves. That life had defeated us. We then usually listened to sad songs, which is just worsening the situation, and makes the misery even deeper. But we just can’t help it. It at the same time also feels like our way to heal.

At some point of life we just don’t know where to go, or what to do. And it happens quite many times. We’re just a child, abandoned in strange place, looking for our fathers, who’s hiding right after he let go of our hands. And we’re cursed for life to find him, to find a figure for us to hold. And all that he left was just a promise that he will give you sign, he will guide you. But you can’t deceive yourself, you feel nothing. You feel empty. And that’s all you now have. And you have to deal to live with it for your entire life.

ON THE NIGHT WAR

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And on that night, war was declared,
She was the victim of all of my kisses,
I kept whispering, darling please beware,
Tonight you lose your pride, and dress
She laughed at first and said we’ll see,
Who’ll win this war is it you or me,
But I’ll fight you back, and I won’t quit,
And with those thirsty lips you’ll flee,


I interrupted her speech with a kiss,
She kissed me harder just as she said,
You’re losing, love, as I held her up,
And threw her body right on to the bed,
I kissed her lips, her face, and neck,


She moaned as I was on my way below,
By that time I played all of my tricks,
While she was the one to take it slow,
She got right up and got me to unbelt,
And she could’ve felt all that blood flow,
I undressed her and her body I felt,

POETRY #5 (HUNTINGTON – PENGORBANAN)

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The little girl just could not sleep
Because her thoughts were way too deep
Her mind had gone out for a stroll
And fallen down the rabbit hole


you turned my heart into a wasteland so i planted flowers there


The thundering is so loudly 😫
I’m cuddling my lion but I wished my boyfriend would be already here so I could hide in his arms


Can you imagine a world
where we only saw souls
and not bodies?


Everyone bleeds just saying


Can you imagine a world
where we only saw souls
and not bodies?


I never thought I would end up this much in love. I think I was scared of getting very deep into that feeling portrayed in movies. I’m so happy I didn’t stop myself when I realized where this was going to. I just wanna make her happy, whatever way that should happen. As long as I’ve known her, I’ve wanted to make her happy. It was a strange feeling to have as a friend but it feels natural as breathing right now. I’m so relieved things have settled so that I can be close to her, not only physically, closer than I could ever be by being just her friend. I want to love her through and through until there’s no part of her left unknown that she wants me to know. She’s such a sweet, lovely being, I’m actually surprised the universe could make something like her


my mind is a terrible place, don’t come to me and say
“it’s just a phase.”
cause i’ve been waiting since
several years ago
waiting for the demons to let me go.

— Your Pluto.


my mind is a terrible place, don’t come to me and say
“it’s just a phase.”
cause i’ve been waiting since
several years ago
waiting for the demons to let me go.

— Your Pluto.


‘Pengorbanan ataupun kebaikan hati bukan ukuran cinta. Bukan hak lu buat nuntut keberlangsungan “hak milik” cuma karena lu udah rela ngorbanin banyak hal buat dia.

Dia jadi deket ama elu ya juga bukan ngasih harapan lah, emangnya untuk deket sama seseorang syaratnya harus mau jadi hak milik? Lagian siapa sih yang gak seneng punya temen “baik hati” yang mau nganterin kemana-mana ato ngasih macem2 lol. Heck, kalo pengorbanan lu nggak dibales “cinta” terus lu ngamuk-ngamuk ya artinya jelas lu berkorban bukan karena “kebaikan hati”.’


Men, at 20 you’ve yet to prove yourself.
at 25 you should have a lineup of girl admirers.
at 30 you should be worthy/able to pick top shelf.


Lay with many men, spoiling the gift of your beauty & you end up as undesirable “damaged” goods. Wait until older & you’re about to expire.


It is the most natural thing for men to climb the dominance hierarchy, slay the dragon & be rewarded by the princess. She CHOOSES the hero.


You are not mommy’s boy anymore, son. You are beginning your training as a survival specialist. You’ll kill a lion today! And mothers cried.


Huntington kemudian merumuskan teorinya tentang political order dan political decay. Dalam memahami teori Huntington ini, penting dipahami dua konsep vital: partisipasi politik (political partisipation) dan institutionalisasi politik (political institutionalitation). Partisipasi politik adalah keleluasaan bagi kelompok di masyarakat untuk berpartisipasi di arena politik, sementara institusionalisasi politik adalah proses dimana prosedur dan pengorganisasian alokasi power di masyarakat mendapat nilai dan menjadi stabil. Stabilitas politik, atau political order, adalah hasil dari institutionalisasi politik yang lebih intens dan maju daripada kecepatan dan skup partisipasi politik. Sebaliknya, instabilitas politik—political decay—adalah akibat dari skup dan kecepatan partisipasi politik yang melampaui tingkat institutionalisasi politik. Dalam teori ini, kecepatan dari partisipasi politik dan institusionalisasi politik penting untuk diperhatikan.

Political Participation > Political Institutionalization = Political Decay

Political Participation < Political Institutionaliation = Political Order

Institusi dan proses institutionalisasi kemudian menjadi penting dan sentral dalam teori Huntington. Ia mendefinisikan institusi sebagai “pola perilaku yang stabil, berulang, dan dijunjung” dalam masyarakat dimana institusi mewujud dalam organisasi dan prosedur. Sementara institutionalisasi adalah “proses dimana organisasi dan prosedur menjadi stabil dan dijunjung” oleh masyarakat (hal.12). Fungsi institusi menurut Huntington adalah, “temper, moderate, and redirect that power so as to render the dominance of one social force compatible with the community of many.” (hal. 9).

Jadi institusi memediasi dan meredakan efek power yang digunakan berbagai kelompok sosial secara telanjang dalam arena politik. Dapat dicatat, definisi Huntington perihal institusi sedikit berbeda dengan definisi institusi di literatur New Institutional Economic, yang meminjam definisi Douglas North. Menurut North, institusi adalah peraturan dan regulasi.

Sebagaimana yang James Madison pernah tulis di The Federalist No.51: “the great difficulty lies in this: you must first enable the government to control the governed; and in the next place oblige it to control itself.” (Madison via Huntington, hal.7).

Stabilitas terlebih dahulu setelah itu barulah demokrasi?


I have a friend. One of the best. A musician like me. Two / three years ago he created this musical projects. I helped him wrote lyrics and records vocal and harmonica parts. Didn’t charged for it. He spent maybe 30 or more millions rupiah. The album doesn’t sell and he stops giving guitar tutor. Last month I met him, he already cut his long hair, grow beard, stop smoking because it’s haram, and talks haditz all the time. Cure him for the sake of humanity ? You can’t talk about humanity with people that are losing their job and angry.


do not oversimplify, not all fuckin are good, sometimes you felt like wasting time.. cause you cant see further with that person.

Pablo Neruda

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“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets


“Love is so short, forgetting is so long.”
Pablo Neruda, Love: Ten Poems


“Well, now
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you

If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots
Remember
That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land”
Pablo Neruda, Selected Poems


“Tonight I can write the saddest lines
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.”
Pablo Neruda, Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair


“I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: “The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance.”

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don’t have her. To feel that I’ve lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn’t keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That’s all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else’s. She will be someone else’s. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.”
Pablo Neruda


“I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: “The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance.”

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don’t have her. To feel that I’ve lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn’t keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That’s all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else’s. She will be someone else’s. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.”
Pablo Neruda


“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.”
Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets


“Every day you play with the light of the universe.”
Pablo Neruda, Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair


“Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,’The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before.
Her voide. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my sould is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.”
Pablo Neruda