SARTRE – THE WALL

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All my life is appearing in front of me, clsoed inside a box. Everything that is inside is unfinished. For a moment I try to judge it. I try to say to myself that it was a beautiful life. But I cant.

Because it is only an unfinished sketch. Acting eternity, I understood nothing.

Sad for the kid, I dont really like this kid. So thin, fear has disfigured him. Before he was handsome, and now even if they let him free. He will never be young again.

I cant have pity, cause pity makes me sick. Death, death disenchanters everything.

I see it all in front of me like a picture, probably it hurts a lot. It is not like an ordinary pain, it is totally different.

I try to understand it, but is seems like a nightmare. I can really imagine it, and then it evades me. Exactly when I reach it, it is not there. I am not, we are not made to think like this. I dont feel nothing, I felt nothing.

Last night, I would give everything to see her once more. Now I dont know if I want to see her. My body is gray. Im the one who will die, I cant take anything from her eyes anymore. Im alone.

In death we are all alone.
He is alive and trembling in the cold.
He is a man that thinks about tomorrow, about a future full of life.

I have to touch myself to know that im alive. Sometimes I feel like fading into nothing. If they would let me go now, in the state iam, nothing would change.

If i have couple of hours, or If I have couple of years left, it is not important anymore. I have lost that sense of immortality.

My friendship with him died last night. Together with my love for Alma, and with wish to hold on to life. No life is worthier than mine!

But you know what? fuck the resistance, fuck the cause, fuck ideals, when you die nothing is important anymore. Nevertheless I could save myself but I dont do it. Strange, why I dont do it?

What a blast, to send all these idiots to run for nothing at all. Tighten your belt, give orders, go you trained monkeys.

I could not resist not to make fun of them, Im going to die anyway.

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CHORD AND LYRICS

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From our first breath we take, our graves have been dug, our bodies against us as we silently oxidize. Mentally and physically unprepared because we’re all just little animals running around under the stars like chickens with our heads cut off. No one really knows what to do, who to follow, what is right and wrong. We are slowly dying.

you know that feeling when you miss someone and everything about them the little things they did all the memories you shared and the feelings you felt the way they felt to u and made u feel comfortable that time stopped and you didn’t wanna be anywhere else now its all gone, and you feel empty empty because they took all the parts of yourself that you gave to them knowing you’ll never feel them again and the memories and just memories but in an alternate reality a part of your soul will always exist with theirs? anyone else

I remember the tears that froze on your cheek. Your smile and laugh that warmed my whole body. I remember the sad nights, but for some reason I remember being happy with you. The long conversations leading up to 4 am before our classes begun.The way you always looked so perfect in the morning, and how raspy and intoxicating your voice was. The way you fit in so perfectly. I envied you at first, but then I fell in love. You didn’t know it and you still don’t, but I thought you were tragically beautiful. You are my muse. You were so cool. You played the best music. You were my first love. Before, the summer was over you left. I cried a lot. Now I look for you in people, but there is no one else like you.

Ah well, since everyone’s doing it, might as well. . . To whom whose heart I have hurt with my foolish words, I still regret it until today. Some nights, I’m still haunted by the distance we both help created in the past, and it made me want to disappear, kinda. I keep thinking about “what-ifs” and what-nots about turning back time and making wiser decisions. I am sorry.

i wish i had someone to write cute things to i feel like no one loves me why me? i wish i had someone to hug, to kiss, to hold her hand, to touch, to play with her hair, to love.

you know when you’re getting stabbed and beaten by people and there is so much pain but they wont just stab you so you die, it’s like they want to drag it out, and then they start spraying Windex in your wounds and you’re just laying there defenseless wishing they would just give the fatal blow but they never do. and then you realise that maybe you’ve gotta give it to yourself. that’s how i feel, like i’m dying

*tenative lyrics derived from extensive listening * im really missin you it’s impossible for me to see you with her things I could do, things I could say to get you back it wouldn’t work anyway what is love all about? what is it all about? what am i missin anymore? what am i missin about you? dreaming of you, dreamin of you im so blue im so blue


oh necromancer put a spell on me with a kisses so sweet, they rot my teeth oh necromancer why are you so far away another day rolls by without me kissing your face oh girl won’t you meet me in the city the street lights and corner store signs make you look so pretty oh when will you just be with me i’m so infatuated i’d swim across the sea i guess you’re just fading all the way i guess i have nothing much to say you can call me tell me if you’re okay i just wish i could see you everyday = F#m G# E F#m – I might be wrong but I hope this helps: F#m7 ​ | G#7/D# | E | F#m7

The girl is the necromancer, she raises the dead, death and darkness being a metaphor for depression, and makes him feel happy. She’s not into him though “infatuated” and singing about kissing her “on the cheek”, basically he’s been friendzoned, but he’s so obsessed with her he’s almost happy with just that. But they’re getting older now, going off on their own separate ways, and he’s losing even the tiny bit of her he got to be a part of.


I think you’ve caught my sickness, you’ve been feeling so sad I think you’ve my problems, You’ve been getting really mad I’m not old enough to feel love, But i want to marry her I’m not old enough to be myself, Be with people i prefer I’m not old enough to go anywhere, Go to places I don’t like I’m not old enough to grow my hair Without being so overly compared So bury me, at 12:15 Just let me sleep, just let me sleep I’m not old enough to color myself Leave a scar, leave some ink I’m not old enough to make my own decisions Let myself become the one that has to think So bury me, at 12:15 Just me sleep, just me sleep


 

STREET CHILD

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You just get used to a quality of life.
Came to environment when bad shit was happening all the time, all around me, everywhere.

So like, it di not seem that bad, i was kinda, looking back i was probably just traumatised by eveything at that age.. that.

I was desensitised to everything. There was nothing that could happen and nowhere i could go… and nothing that would shock me, cause…

I pretty much expected to like die anyway, so…

It is like there is this, bad person inside me and they are like stomping on the good bit, that i know that is there… And iam like get out.

I feel like there is like this disease or this like… this infection insde me, that makes me this way. All this bad stuff that is inside me, all this dirt. That i just need to get out.

Deep down iam a good person, but it is deep, deep down in there. It takes a lot to get to it, and i just… it frustrates me so much, cause i have tried to get all the bad stuff out, when i think about it in my head, that is how i think it is like dirt… And i have tried to get the dirt away, every single way. Man I have tried jagging it away. I have tried shagging it away, I have tried snorting it away. I have tried drinking it away, I have tried fighting it away. I have tried slashing my own arms away.

I have tried, I have tried everything to get it out.

 

SELF LOVE : LET ME BE FREE (AYN RAND)

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Her eyes were beautiful and gentle, but they had seen battles.
Her voice and demeanor were peaceful, but I side she was war.
~ Adriana Adame


i need to go out soon. i’m rotting in this four-walled prison.


as darkness slowly falls and the last sunlight fades, stars start to twinkle and you drift of to sleep. our hearts beat in sinc, as i close my eyes and follow you into the night


I was once a tough tree with roots deep into the soil
Strong as an ox with passion as hot as a decent boil.

Now it’s simmered. My leaves have fallen, trunk decaying as if the sun stopped shining over me.

As for that I will not stand, I deserve all the power I can hold. All the passion I can control. I am the ox that leads the heard.

I want to reach the sky and sore as a mighty bird for which I cannot contain.

Let me be free, free to be who I was always meant to be.

Life has been cruel, but I shall let defeat be my fuel.


The inability to control oneself creates the desire to control others.


But I mean fuck it I guess, might as well get more use to the loneliness,adapt or die.


through darkness and pain and strife I’ll sing, be, live, see


We were two lost souls
that werent meant for each other
but held on together
because we were too afraid of being alone.


Now as the rain falls like shattered pieces of glass from the sky,
We bleed like water colors and drunken pastels down the stairways.


Let’s be face to face. Holding back our feelings when alone but on the internet posting it like we’re really cuttin the chase. It’s amazing how we can feel another persons emotions from a mile or two away. Almost like the human spirit is an electric wave that can’t be swept away even after the body drops and the pupils have dilated. Because when you’re strong enough to face your demon and hers and his and ours, you’ll see that there’s a mold to be broken. When you dig deep into someone’s skull as you pick out the words that have been seeping through the skin while it’s being spoken. I can’t help but to be the one that wants to save those who can’t save me and to be the one that needs to be saved when I can’t even save myself


“If you don’t know, the thing to do is not to get scared, but to learn.”
Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged


“Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness.”
Ayn Rand


“I could die for you. But I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, live for you.”
Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead



“Freedom (n.): To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing.”
Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead


“If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders – What would you tell him?”

I…don’t know. What…could he do? What would you tell him?”


“The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”
Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism


“He is free to evade reality, he is free to unfocus his mind and stumble blindly down any road he pleases, but not free to avoid the abyss he refuses to see.”
Ayn Rand



Scotus kemudian berpendapat bahwa seorang dapat menikmati “keunggulan” ketika ia diberkahi dengan kecerdasan dan kehendak, dan bahwa setiap makhluk tersebut adalah tak terbatas.