LOVE BOMBING

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But I mean fuck it I guess, might as well get more use to the loneliness,adapt or die.


through darkness and pain and strife I’ll sing, be, live, see


Let’s be face to face. Holding back our feelings when alone but on the internet posting it like we’re really cuttin the chase. It’s amazing how we can feel another persons emotions from a mile or two away. Almost like the human spirit is an electric wave that can’t be swept away even after the body drops and the pupils have dilated. Because when you’re strong enough to face your demon and hers and his and ours, you’ll see that there’s a mold to be broken. When you dig deep into someone’s skull as you pick out the words that have been seeping through the skin while it’s being spoken. I can’t help but to be the one that wants to save those who can’t save me and to be the one that needs to be saved when I can’t even save myself.


Now as the rain falls like shattered pieces of glass from the sky,
We bleed like water colors and drunken pastels down the stairways.


We were two lost souls
that werent meant for each other
but held on together
because we were too afraid of being alone.


Everything is temporary, emotions, thoughts, people and scenery. Do not become attached, just flow with it.



Deep in the meadow under the willow a bed of grass a soft green pillow lay down your head and close your eyes and when they open the sun will rise


Scream. Scream and release all that negative energy pent up inside you. Scream and imagine your voice is pushing all the negativity away from you. With every inhale, positivity and healing flows through your body and soul. With every exhaled scream, negativity and hurt rushes out of your body and soul. Release all that hurt, anguish, sadness, anger with your most emotionally, gutteral screaming. You are okay. You will heal. It won’t be bad forever.



Manage our expectation
Acknowledge the addiction
Accept the condition
Then move on

I guess that is all survivors have to do. This, of course, without considering the financial or any particular systemic factors that may hinder them to go away from the abuser.

And they make you question everything about your self.

Jadi begitu lo berasa ada yang salah ma kelakuannya, biasanya akan di-gaslight juga atau diputarbalikkan sampai lo yang berasa lakuin kesalahan.


Thus rejected she lies hid
in the deep woods, hiding her blushing face
with the green leaves; and ever after lives
concealed in lonely caverns in the hills.
But her great love increases with neglect;
her miserable body wastes away,
wakeful with sorrows; leanness shrivels up
her skin, and all her lovely features melt,
as if dissolved upon the wafting winds –
nothing remains except her bones and voice –
her voice continues, in the wilderness;
her bones have turned to stone.”

— Metomorphoses, Ovid (8 A.D.)


“survival of the fittest.” In the animal kingdom, the dominant male in a pride of lions fights his way to the top and is the first in line to feast on a group kill at the expense of weaker members who risk starvation when resources are low. Female lions don’t typically pair with those weaker males, they seek to mate with the dominant male in order to maximize the survival of their offspring. So it may be with people, where success can be associated not only with confidence, but dominance and a proclivity for interpersonal exploitation as well.”


How Love Bombing Works

Love bombing is an attempt to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection. We’re not just talking about romantic gestures, like flowers and trips. Love bombing invariably includes lots of romantic conversation, long talks about “our future,” and long periods of staring into each other’s eyes. It’s the combination of words and deeds that makes love bombing so powerful, especially considering today’s technology. The ability to call, text, email, or connect on social media 24/7 makes it easier to be in constant contact with the object of one’s affection than ever before. 

Love bombing works because humans have a natural need to feel good about who we are, and often we can’t fill this need on our own. Sometimes the reason is situational, brought on by an event, like divorce or job loss. Other times, it’s more constant and traces back to our childhood. Whatever the source, love bombers are experts at detecting low self-esteem, and exploiting it. 


This is not to say that idealization by itself is unhealthy in romantic relationships. Over time, all couples can grow to think of each other in these ways, but the key is “over time.” No matter how perfect the connection, how great the sex, or the seemingly endless list of mutual interests, you can’t get to really know someone in less than six months. That’s why “love at first sight” is often a recipe for disaster.


 

SELF LOVE : LET ME BE FREE (AYN RAND)

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Her eyes were beautiful and gentle, but they had seen battles.
Her voice and demeanor were peaceful, but I side she was war.
~ Adriana Adame


i need to go out soon. i’m rotting in this four-walled prison.


as darkness slowly falls and the last sunlight fades, stars start to twinkle and you drift of to sleep. our hearts beat in sinc, as i close my eyes and follow you into the night


I was once a tough tree with roots deep into the soil
Strong as an ox with passion as hot as a decent boil.

Now it’s simmered. My leaves have fallen, trunk decaying as if the sun stopped shining over me.

As for that I will not stand, I deserve all the power I can hold. All the passion I can control. I am the ox that leads the heard.

I want to reach the sky and sore as a mighty bird for which I cannot contain.

Let me be free, free to be who I was always meant to be.

Life has been cruel, but I shall let defeat be my fuel.


The inability to control oneself creates the desire to control others.


But I mean fuck it I guess, might as well get more use to the loneliness,adapt or die.


through darkness and pain and strife I’ll sing, be, live, see


We were two lost souls
that werent meant for each other
but held on together
because we were too afraid of being alone.


Now as the rain falls like shattered pieces of glass from the sky,
We bleed like water colors and drunken pastels down the stairways.


Let’s be face to face. Holding back our feelings when alone but on the internet posting it like we’re really cuttin the chase. It’s amazing how we can feel another persons emotions from a mile or two away. Almost like the human spirit is an electric wave that can’t be swept away even after the body drops and the pupils have dilated. Because when you’re strong enough to face your demon and hers and his and ours, you’ll see that there’s a mold to be broken. When you dig deep into someone’s skull as you pick out the words that have been seeping through the skin while it’s being spoken. I can’t help but to be the one that wants to save those who can’t save me and to be the one that needs to be saved when I can’t even save myself


“If you don’t know, the thing to do is not to get scared, but to learn.”
Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged


“Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness.”
Ayn Rand


“I could die for you. But I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, live for you.”
Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead



“Freedom (n.): To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing.”
Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead


“If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders – What would you tell him?”

I…don’t know. What…could he do? What would you tell him?”


“The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”
Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism


“He is free to evade reality, he is free to unfocus his mind and stumble blindly down any road he pleases, but not free to avoid the abyss he refuses to see.”
Ayn Rand



Scotus kemudian berpendapat bahwa seorang dapat menikmati “keunggulan” ketika ia diberkahi dengan kecerdasan dan kehendak, dan bahwa setiap makhluk tersebut adalah tak terbatas.

 

A GIRL IN THE COLD NIGHT

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In the cold night
There’s a girl
That lay and wait
For a day
Of to be noticed
So she cry and cry
For something or someone
But she’s afraid to be open enough
To anyone
Cuz people are cruel to her
And she just don’t get it
So the girl dumb herself and put herself down
And talks about herself
Cuz in school boys tease her
Pick on her
And take her as joke
And that hurts her
And the girls are no better
They say awful things about her
But the girl doesn’t do anything about it
All she do is ask her mom
But her mom doesn’t give her the correct answer cuz her mom doesn’t care what the girl is going through
So at night the girl lays in bed thinking about the pain and the hurt
Of being a teenager
And all she could manage to do is cry
But why is she crying?

MARTIN HEIDEGGER – GABRIEL MARCEL (QUOTES – POEM)

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For him, the key experiences and challenges of existence are individual: Alone we suffer, alone we die, and alone we must make meaning out of our fate. The highest value, then, is not goodness but authenticity; above all, authenticity in the face of death. To accept one’s actual condition of mortality and thrownness, not to flee from these difficult facts into consoling illusions and abstractions


The atheist relies not on an experience but on an idea, or pseudo idea, of God: if God existed, He would have such and such characteristics; but if he had such characteristics, He could not allow etc…His judgment of incompability, in fact, is based on a judgment of implications.

– Gabriel Marcel


and i sit here, wondering, to this day…if there wae a single thing i could have done to make you want differently. to make you want me to stay. to make you decide not to leave me. but i come to the conclusion….there was nothing i could have done. i couldnt change the way you thought of me. and what saddens me is, i never will. ever again. because who would want a girl like me?


Self talk

“May I please kill myself”

No, your emptiness is the beginning of your fullness your word of death attracts the eyes and ears of others with such confusion. Stay a bit longer and you’ll see the changes made by your wish of death, people will come into your life, people you don’t know but will soon become your closest friends, I here by give you a reason to live a reason you are not empty but full of everything.


once more into the fray, into the last good fight ill never know, live and die on this day, live and die on this day…


liberty, in case you’ve forgotten, is the souls right to breath. And when it cannot take a long breath, laws are girdered too tight. without liberty, man is a syncope..


It is not the knowledge, but rather the acts of learning that grant greatest enjoyment


once more into the fray, into the last good fight ill never know, live and die on this day, live and die on this day..


Everyone comes in your life weather it’s good or bad. Not everyone is ment to stay. Some come to make memories some come to make scars. Some may also come to stay and some may leave. But they also come and teach you a lesson and once you’ve learned that lesson it’ll be time for them to go, it’s just apart of life


Slowly losing myself,
Losing what once was me.
Hurting deep inside,
I know I shan’t ever be free.
The endless void of time,
Existence far from fine..


 

How Do You Get Others To Understand?

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How do you get others to understand?
The marks on my skin,
Aren’t born from anger
Or self hate

I make myself bleed
Because I love the art
That I can make out of myself

The stripes spread on my body
Have deeper meaning
Than a show of self harm
It’s like tattooing

But I’m the master
I control the pen
Or the blade, rather.