SEMENTARA

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“Concepts and words are symbols, just as visions, rituals, and images are; so too are the manners and customs of daily life. Through all of these a transcendent reality is mirrored. There are so many metaphors reflecting and implying something which, though thus variously expressed, is ineffable, though thus rendered multiform, remains inscrutable. Symbols hold the mind to truth, but are not themselves the truth, hence it is delusory to borrow them. Each civilisation, every age, must bring forth its own.”

– Heinrich Zimmer, “Philosophies of India”


crawl into this body
find me where I’m most broken
love me there.



“The worst is not death but being blind, blind to the fact that everything about life is in the nature of the miraculous. The language of society is conformity; the language of the creative individual is freedom. Life will continue to be a hell as long as people who make up the world shut their eyes to reality.” ― Henry Miller, Stand Still Like the Hummingbird


If many remedies are prescribed
for an illness, you may be certain
that the illness has no cure.

A. P. CHEKHOV – The Cherry Orchard


FROM THE NURSERY

When I was born, you waited
behind a pile of linen in the nursery,
and when we were alone, you lay down
on top of me, pressing
the bile of desolation into every pore.

And from that day on
everything under the sun and moon
made me sad—even the yellow
wooden beads that slid and spun
along a spindle on my crib.

You taught me to exist without gratitude.
You ruined my manners toward God:
“We’re here simply to wait for death;
the pleasures of earth are overrated.”

I only appeared to belong to my mother,
to live among blocks and cotton undershirts
with snaps; among red tin lunch boxes
and report cards in ugly brown slipcases.
I was already yours—the anti-urge,
the mutilator of souls.



BOTTLES

Elavil, Ludiomil, Doxepin,
Norpramin, Prozac, Lithium, Xanax,
Wellbutrin, Parnate, Nardil, Zoloft.
The coated ones smell sweet or have
no smell; the powdery ones smell
like the chemistry lab at school
that made me hold my breath.


SUGGESTION FROM A FRIEND

You wouldn’t be so depressed
if you really believed in God.


OFTEN

Often I go to bed as soon after dinner
as seems adult
(I mean I try to wait for dark)
in order to push away
from the massive pain in sleep’s
frail wicker coracle.


ONCE THERE WAS LIGHT

Once, in my early thirties, I saw
that I was a speck of light in the great
river of light that undulates through time.

I was floating with the whole
human family. We were all colors—those
who are living now, those who have died,
those who are not yet born. For a few

moments I floated, completely calm,
and I no longer hated having to exist.

Like a crow who smells hot blood
you came flying to pull me out
of the glowing stream.
“I’ll hold you up. I never let my dear
ones drown!” After that, I wept for days.


PARDON

A piece of burned meat
wears my clothes, speaks
in my voice, dispatches obligations
haltingly, or not at all.
It is tired of trying
to be stouthearted, tired
beyond measure.

We move on to the monoamine
oxidase inhibitors. Day and night
I feel as if I had drunk six cups
of coffee, but the pain stops
abruptly. With the wonder
and bitterness of someone pardoned
for a crime she did not commit
I come back to marriage and friends,
to pink fringed hollyhocks; come back
to my desk, books, and chair.


WOOD THRUSH

High on Nardil and June light
I wake at four,
waiting greedily for the first
note of the wood thrush. Easeful air
presses through the screen
with the wild, complex song
of the bird, and I am overcome

by ordinary contentment.
What hurt me so terribly
all my life until this moment?
How I love the small, swiftly
beating heart of the bird
singing in the great maples;
its bright, unequivocal eye.


As a Muslim man i just want to say i don’t care what colour, religion sexuality you are if your being oppressed i will stand by your side fight for you. people lets stop us cause divisions among ourselves we are all human


“You used to be able to run your hand through the sand and get a hand full of diamonds do you understand”. For me, this metaphor represents the world when it began. The world before humans. The world before we got devided. The world before all the countries were created. The world before the 2 World Wars. The world before all the civil wars. The world before hunger and starvation. The world before the wars we still have today. Try to understand the world when it was light and hopefull, and live your life the way you want to see the world tomorrow.


Every single person on earth has their own story as rich as any film or book you’ve seen or read.


” Capitalism is an economic system that works around the concept of wealth creation in the pursuit of economic growth for the nation while mercantilism focuses on wealth accumulation through extraction of wealth which they believe is measured by the amount of gold bullions that the nation has in its possession.”

literally no difference


 

MIDNIGHT

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Midnight

At midnight,
the monsters unfold
ever so slowly
one by one
crawling out.

At midnight,
the room is lightless
devoid of any light
just like the obscure abode
i have come to know

At midnight,
it is serene
I can hear the monsters shuffle
scratching the walls of my brain
craving for my attention.

At midnight,
I am a solitary individual
the air is bitter
for i have lost a comfort
because of the monsters
he behold.

At midnight,
I am never alone
yet it is only I, alone.

ADDICTION

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That when a rat is a put in an antique cage all along with two water bottles, one normal and one drugged it gets addicted to the drugged water and eventually dies of malnutrition. The experiment was seen as a proof that drugs are uncontrollable and it laid the foundation for 40 years of drug policy with strict laws rehab centers that focused on withdrawal and a massive war on drugs making it clear that drugs are bad.

What most people don’t know is that in the same decade another scientist Professor Bruce Alexander thought it was obivious that lonely rats in boring cages would choose drugs over water so he put them in a rat park, a lush cage  with friend and everything a rat could want while stil having free acess to drugs, surprisingly his rats chose not to use the drugs. The researcher even took the study one step further and had the rats use drugs for 57 days in the lonely cage untill they become heavily addicted and then placed them in the rat park astonishingly the rats gradually reduced their drug use until they stopped using them altogether and live the rest of their lives drug-free.

Experiments like these happen to humans all the time, one example is in hospitals where heavily injured patients are given medical form of heroin, this heroin much stronger than the heroin used in the street. Despite months of use, these medical users just stop when they go home to a life where they are surrounded by a loving family. The same drug used for the same length of time turn street users who alone and unhappy into desperate addicts. The rat park experiments did not show that chemical addictions don’t exist but it showed that they are not the only thing that matters in drug abuse, maybe a person’s access to a functioning social life and a lush cage are even more important than continuing the war on drugs mission of making drugs unavailable and penalizing the users.

What causes, say, heroin addiction? This is a really stupid question, right? Its obvious; we all know it; heroin causes heroin addiction. Heres how it works: if you use heroin for 20 days, by day 21,.

Your body would physically crave the drug ferociously because there are chemical hooks in the drug. Thats what addiction means. But theres a catch. Almost everything we think we know about addiction is wrong. If you, for example, break your hip, youll be taken to a hospital and youll be given loads of diamorphine for weeks or even months. Diamorphine is heroin. Its, in fact, much stronger heroin than any addict can get on the street because its not contaminated by all the stuff drug dealers dilute it with. There are people near you being given loads of deluxe heroin in s right now.

The experiment is simple: you take a rat and put it in a cage with two water bottles. One is just water, the other is water laced with heroin or cocaine. Almost every time you run this experiment, the rat will become obsessed with the drugged water and keep coming back for more and more, until it kills itself.

But in the 1970s, bruce alexander, a professor of psychology, noticed something odd about this experiment: the rat is put in the cage all alone. It has nothing to do but take the drugs. What would happen, he wondered, if we tried this differently? So he built Rat Park, which is basically heaven for rats;.

Its a lush cage where the rats would have colored balls, tunnels to scamper down, plenty of friends to play with, and they could have loads of sex everything a rat about town could want. And they would have the drugged water and the normal water bottles. But heres the fascinating thing: in Rat Park, rats hardly ever use the drugged water none of them ever use it compulsively, none of them ever overdose.

But maybe this is a quirk of rats, right? Well, helpfully there was a human experiment along the same lines: The Vietnam War. 20% of American troops in Vietnam were using a lot of heroin. People back home were really panicked, because they thought there would be hundreds of thousands of junkies on the streets of the United States when the war was over. But a study followed the soldiers home and found something striking: They didn’t go to rehab, they didn’t even go into withdrawal. 95% of them just stopped after they got home. If you believe the old theory of addiction, that makes no sense. But if you believe Professor Alexander’s theory, it makes perfect sense. Because if you’re put into a horrific jungle in a foreign country where you don’t want to be, and you could be forced to kill or die at any moment, doing heroin is a great way to spend your time. But if you go back to your nice home with your friends and your family, it’s the equivalent of being taken out of that first cage and put into a human Rat Park.

It’s not the chemicals, it’s your cage. We need to think about addiction differently. Human beings have an innate need to bond and connect. When we are happy and healthy, we will bond with the people around us. But when we can’t because we’re traumatized, isolated, or beaten down by life, we will bond with something that gives us some sense of relief. It might be endlessly checking a smartphone, it might be pornography, video games, Reddit, gambling, or it might be cocaine. But we will bond with something because that is our human nature. The path out of unhealthy bonds is to form healthy bonds, to be connected to people you want to be present with. Addiction is just one symptom of the crisis of disconnection that’s happening all around us. We all feel it.

The War on Drugs we’ve been fighting for almost a century now has made everything worse. Instead of helping people heal and getting their life together, we have cast them out from society, we have made it harder for them to get jobs and become stable, we take benefits and support away from them if we catch them with drugs, we throw them in prison cells, which are literally cages, we put people who are not well in a situation which makes them feel worse and hate them for not recovering. For too long, we’ve talked only about individual recovery from addiction. But we need now to talk about social recovery. Because something has gone wrong with us as a group. We have to build a society that looks a lot more like Rat Park and a lot less like those isolated cages. We are going to have to change the unnatural way we live and rediscover each other. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety; the opposite of addiction is connection.

 

SOLELY YOU

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When you were little,
And you fell down,
They would ask you where it hurt
And you would point to your knee, elbow, or hands,
And they would make it better.

But you noticed,
As you got older,
If you fell,
They would never ask where it hurt.

You sit silently in your room,
Waiting for someone to ask you where it hurts,
Pointing to your head, your heart.

Because that is where the pain hurts the most.
But nobody asks.
And nobody makes it better.

SCATOLOPHILIA

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Individuals who derive sexual pleasure from making obscene phone calls are called scatolophiliacs or scatolophiles. Scatolophila is similar to exhibitionism because it is a form of sexual assault intended to shock the victim and the aggressor often masturbates to the experience or to memories of it. Scatolophiles may use persuasive manipulation or frightening threats to keep the victim on the phone. Scatolophilia has decreased in frequency over the past years due to the increasing use of phone technologies such as caller ID, call blocking and phone conversation recorders.

The Victim’s Dilemma

Many victims stay on the phone line because they are afraid that the caller will assault them physically if they do not comply. They may also be worried that the caller may even be outside their house looking in. Being verbally abused is an incredibly traumatic event. However, scatolophiles are rarely physically close their victims at the time of the phone call even if they claim to be and make threats. Receiving unwanted obscene phone calls makes the victim feel unsafe and may cause permanent emotional damage. Many victims may become afraid to answer the phone or to be alone in their own house.

Examples of Scatolophilia

Isolated instances of scatolophilia still persist even with phone technology. Most instances of scatolophilia involve a man calling and verbally abusing household members of a private residence. The caller may make reference to sexual activities and fantasies and later masturbate to the expressions of shock, fear and dismay.

Many modern scatolophiles use manipulative persuasive techniques. For example, in 2000 in Sweden a scatolophile posed as a sexology researcher and asked child subjects sexual questions over the phone. Coercive techniques can especially be observed in string of about 60 abusive phone calls from 1995 to 2004. In these phone calls, a man posing as a police officer forced food service workers to perform sexual acts on each other. The caller forced supervisors to victimize employees with behaviors ranging from spanks to strip searches to oral sex.