PARADOKS

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Aku adalah kontradiksi.
Aku hampir tidak pernah benar-benar serius dalam suatu hal, tapi juga terlalu serius.
Aku kejam dan berdarah dingin, tapi juga sensitif.
Aku memakai logika, tapi juga bertindak impulsif.
Aku ingin bahagia, tapi selalu memikirkan hal yang menyedihkan.


Aku pesimis, tetapi ambisius.


Aku benci diriku sendiri, tapi juga menyukainya.


Aku terlalu idealis, tapi juga sangat realistis.


Aku bilang tidak peduli, tapi nyatanya aku memikirkannya.


Aku sangat menikmati kesendirian, tapi juga merasa kosong dan kesepian.


Aku tenang, tetapi kacau.


Aku haus perhatian, tapi aku menolak diberi perhatian.


Aku benci semua orang, tapi juga memiliki kasih pada setiapnya.


Aku ingin membangun koneksi mendalam, tapi selalu merasa terpisah dari dunia.


Aku lega bahwa aku hanya sebutir debu yang mudah terlupakan, tapi juga ingin dianggap ada.


Aku terlalu dalam, tapi juga terlalu dangkal.


Aku bisa ditebak dalam tidak tertebaknya aku.


Aku hidup, tapi aku mati.


Pikiranku berantakan.


Otakku adalah medan tempur.


Paradoks.


Seperti halnya benda-benda material yang lucunya disusun oleh sesuatu yang non-material.


Seperti oksigen yang menyokong kehidupan, tapi juga menyebabkan kemerosotan keberadaannya.


Seperti ironisnya kebebasan manusia untuk memilih, tapi juga tidak bebas dari konsekwensi pilihannya.


Seperti alam semesta yang selalu mengada dan kekal, tapi juga selalu berubah.
Aku. Adalah sebuah kontradiksi.

One Day You’re Going To Meet Someone Who Stays

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One day you’re going to meet someone who makes you look forward to waking up because they’re right next to you.

This person is going to be different than the rest. It’ll be this connection neither of you can deny is there.

This person will look at you and really see you. And what they see isn’t the false version of yourself you sell to the world.

They’ll see you for who you really are, flaws and all. And they’ll accept all there is to you.

That’s unbrushed hair and unbrushed teeth before you wake up.

They’ll see a face without makeup and think you’re even more beautiful. They’ll watch you put it on and wonder why.

They’ll learn who you really are behind closed doors.

They’ll watch you and the way you live your life, knowing one thing, they want to be a part of it.
They’ll see you break down after a tough day and want to be the arms that hold you.

They’ll begin to learn you inside and out, in a way you don’t even know yourself yet.

And together you’ll learn from each other. You’ll make each other better.

One day you’ll meet someone who sees a future in your eyes and makes you forget about the past.

You’ll share in late night conversations as two am welcomes you with company when before it might have haunted you with loneliness.
You’ll learn not everyone leaves when they get that close.

They’ll break through your walls and you’ll be left so vulnerable but for the first time, it won’t scare you like it used to.

You’ll share in your insecurities as they look at you wondering why.

This person will know you aren’t perfect.

They’ll watch you make mistakes, they’ll forgive you for them but they will still love you for all of it.

Because what you have in common is knowing, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to one another.
You’ll share your dreams and where there might have been self-doubt, you’ll find someone a little more confident in you and someone who believes in you.

You’ll learn about each other’s past and mistakes and through their acceptance of it, you learn to forgive yourself.

One day you’ll look at someone and you’ll wonder how you lived without them before because it’s like you met and you feel whole for the first time.

You meet someone and suddenly their problems become yours and you’ll do anything to find a solution.

You’ll meet someone whose happiness is yours because they are to blame for the smile on your face.

You’re going to meet someone and that’s going to be it.

People might not understand until they experience something similar themselves. But you know with certainty and confidence that you’ve figured it out.

You’ll look at this person like you’ve been waiting your entire life to meet them.”

-Kirsten Corley

YOU

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Making it up on the fly

What’s troubling you so
Little ray of sunshine?

The world is crumbling
Right above my head
And there’s nothing I can do
But await the impact

What’s troubling you so
Little ray of sunshine?

My feelings don’t matter
To anyone of the human race
There’s no such thing as comfort
Or the resisting of selfish desires

What’s troubling you so
Little ray of sunshine?

You severed the tie between us
All for the capital of the world
Gave up on the only good thing
That happened between us

What’s troubling you so
Little ray of sunshine?

You
That’s what’s troubling me

IM NOT A GAME

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Granted you’re a catch
But I thought I caught you
I meant it when I said
That I’d always be true

Again
And again
You told me
That we would never end
But I should’ve read you
I should’ve knew you
I should’ve never gave it all to you

I should’ve
I would’ve
I could have
Saved it
But I never knew someone could speak my language
Never knew someone could tame me
I would’ve never called you up
Never would’ve called your bluff
Then we wouldn’t be sitting here
And thinking “I’ve had enough”

You talk explicit
We biting and there’s no flinching
Words they hurt
Your tongue be so vicious
Head ache, the game
What are you playing?

Boy I’m not a game
There’s not a restart
Be careful what you’re saying…

WINTER IS A WOMAN

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Winter is a woman
Cold, ethereal, whimsical.
Sneaking upon us as gentle as a fall breeze
Before bringing the chilling rain.

Hair like fine ice
Skin like powdered snow
Her blue eyes follow every movement
Even as clouds blanket the sky

Though she has cold hands
She carries a warm heart
Berating us with an icy touch
Then heating us with sunshine

Temperamental is she
Ever changing and restless
One moment, her words are soft as silk
The next, stinging like frost

Winter is a woman
Hard to please, unpredictable
But even with her brash nature
I would not prefer another