POETRY #2 (DRAFT)

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It’s crazy how our lives fluctuate. Ups and downs and all the inbetweens. Somehow one day everything feels hopeless and like the world is against you. But the next, you’re on top of the world ready to face anything thrown at you. Enjoy it while you can guess.


“Before everything, before even humans, there were stories. A creature at a fire, conjuring a world with nothing but its voice and a listener’s imagination. And now, me and thousands like me, in little booths and rooms and mics and screens all over the world, doing the same for a family of listeners, connected as all families are, primarily by the stories we tell each other. And after, after fire and death, or whatever happens next, after the wiping clean or the gradual decay, after the after – when there are only a few creatures left, there will be one at a fire, telling a story to what family it has left. It was the first thing, and it will be the last.”


I’m suffocating
in memories of mermaids,
swimming to an Atlantis
that, like you and I,
never was.


I have 1 thing
2 say
3 words
4 you
I love you!

I think that’s so cute. A girl in class got a note that said that to her, and was from her crush. And like I said, I’m still a single Pringle, really disappointed with myself that I didn’t have the guts to say something to my crush. But oh well. Anyways, hope everyone had a better Valentine’s day than me.


My thirst was not quenched.

I was dissatisfied.
Not your body.
All I needed was your love.


I’m done being the one looking for answers
So I’m locking lips with champagne glasses
Getting high off my life as the moon dances
Around the stars as I couldn’t be asked to
Care about life’s true meaning as my mind branches
Down the rabbit hole dropping me off at wonderland
Underground is where I feel safe, in the darkness
Where the sun never comes up, so it’s bottles up
And we’ll do it all over again tomorrow and the day after


is “polyamorous” just a fancy word for long-term threeway


Even in the loneliest moments, you
have been there for yourself.


A fragile winter butterfly
Flutters from the sky
So soft and yet her heart
Is cold and made of ice
But if I warm it
She will melt and die


Life went on without you, of course, it did, of course, it does. It was just an ending, they tell me, not the end.


Sun destroys the interest of what’s happening in the shade


Why do people insist you have to be beautiful to be happy? existence itself and the very fact that you are existing is already fascinating and beautiful. Sure it’s nice to be/feel pretty but it shouldn’t be essential to happiness.


Just a traveler with a broken ship trying to find land


Waves rage at the edge
Voices echo in the salty air,
Calm winds dances the leaves away
Cotton candy sky with an orange sun dies,
Stars shine bright with a moon that shines life,
A Wolf howls at the edge
For a beautiful night.


“I left you, you left me. I guess some things went meant to be.”


Do me a favor and don’t come back…

…because I’ll probably just let you back in until you decide to leave again.


He treats her like a cigarette. He lights the flame in her, watches her burn, and ignores the ashes that fall. Every time he lets out some steam, her flame starts to lose it’s light. Three minutes later, he’ll crush the cigarette with his heal and her flame will be put out. He wasn’t in the mood anymore. He left her alone. He was moving on to another cigarette.

POETRY #4 (DRAFT)

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Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate


I dream of words, spoken into infinite space glittering on with heavy beauty, and shadow and no shame.


The problem with putting people first is that you’re teaching them to put you second


There’s nothing romantic about loving someone more than they love you. Love isn’t pain


Up until now I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness


She wrote the fairy tale, she was too afraid to live.


I’m full of love, and nobody wants it


Better alone than badly accompanied


Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?


If you were the moon, then i was the sun, if you were meant to bloom, then i was meant to burn


Do not bother holding on to that thing that does not want you, you cannot make it stay.


There is a name that escapes me. A thought that evades me. Finding you is like my fate that eludes me. If I failed to find you in the last life, let this one not be the same. For I will shed my humanity to bend even time and destiny. And if it takes a millenia, and the sun dies out, I’ll swim in space, in that supernova. And through the darkness I will find you, through the black hole, I shall follow.


I don’t want to be with half a person
I don’t want to be half a person
“I” doesn’t become “we”
It’s still “you” and “me”


Me: I’m okay.

People: Why just okay?

Message appears: YOU ARE NOT AN EXPERIENCED ENOUGH FRIEND TO UNLOCK THIS RESPONSE YET. TRY AGAIN AFTER REACHING FRIENDSHIP LEVEL 10!


 

Hoping to fall asleep before I fall apart.


Idealizing someone can be one of the worst feelings ever. You ignore all their flaws until you build them up into a great being but then, you learn their flaws and are disappointed that they dont reach the standard you’ve created. But really it’s your fault that they’re disappointing to you.


VENT #7

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I can only play if we’re on the same team, not opponents — if it’s us against others — if it’s us against the world.


So if this is a game to you, I don’t want to play against you, I don’t want to play at all. I just want us to be a team, I want us to root for each other and support each other. I want us to be so invested in making our team grow that we forget about the game, about the score


“Free election of masters does not abolish the masters or the slaves.” ― Herbert Marcuse


 

“If the worker and his boss enjoy the same television program and visit the same resort places, if the typist is as attractively made up as the daughter of her employer, if the Negro owns a Cadillac, if they all read the same newspaper, then this assimilation indicates not the disappearance of classes, but the extent to which the needs and satisfactions that serve the preservation of the Establishment are shared by the underlying population.”

― Herbert Marcuse, One-Dimensional Man: Studies in the Ideology of Advanced Industrial Society


“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” ― Maya Angelou


“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter 


“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” ― Maya Angelou


“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style” ― Maya Angelou


“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” ― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter


“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?” ― Maya Angelou


“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I’ll rise!” ― Maya Angelou


“Life—the way it really is—is a battle not between good and bad, but between bad and worse” ― Joseph Brodsky


“If there is any substitute for love, it is memory.” ― Joseph Brodsky


“[T]he longer you stay skeptical, doubtful, intellectually uncomfortable, the better it is for you.”


“…and love, as an act, lacks a verb” ― Joseph Brodsky, Collected Poems in English


My thoughts are just stars I can’t fathom into constellations


“Life the way it really is, is a battle not between good and bad, but between bad and worse” ― Joseph Brodsky


“Man is what he reads.” ― Joseph Brodsky


“If there is any substitute for love, it is memory.” ― Joseph Brodsky


“Life is a game with many rules but no referee. One learns how to play it more by watching it than by consulting any book, including the holy book. Small wonder, then, that so many play dirty, that so few win, that so many lose.” ― Joseph Brodsky


“He was a killer, a thing that preyed, living on the things that lived, unaided, alone, by virtue of his own strength and prowess, surviving triumphantly in a hostile environment where only the strong survive.” ― Jack London, The Call of the Wild


“Why, if there is anything in supply and demand, life is the cheapest thing in the world. There is only so much water, so much earth, so much air; but the life that is demanding to be born is limitless. Nature is a spendthrift. Look at the fish and their millions of eggs. For that matter, look at you and me. In our loins are the possibilities of millions of lives. Could we but find time and opportunity and utilize the last bit and every bit of the unborn life that is in us, we could become the fathers of nations and populate continents. Life? Bah! It has no value. Of cheap things it is the cheapest. Everywhere it goes begging. Nature spills it out with a lavish hand. Where there is room for one life, she sows a thousand lives, and it’s life eats life till the strongest and most piggish life is left.”

― Jack London, The Sea Wolf


“He had learned well the law of club and fang, and he never forewent an advantage or drew back from a foe he had started on the way to Death. He had lessoned from Spitz, and from the chief fighting dogs of the police and mail, and knew there was no middle course. He must master or be mastered; while to show mercy was a weakness. mercy did not exist in the primordial life. It was misunderstood for fear, and such misunderstandings made for death. Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten, was the law; and this mandate, down out of the depths of Time, he obeyed.”

― Jack London, The Call of the Wild


“He was a silent fury who no torment could tame.” ― Jack London, White Fang


“Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.” ― Jack London


 

VENT #6

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We beat the odds cause we play safe.


I’m like a dead fish when my feelings surface from this ocean. Drowning behind more depths of pointless thoughts than grains of sand on an island. I’m isolated, most hated. Type of kid to be volcanic with no eruption, just magma. I seize to find lava so my mind coincides with these pointless rhymes when they can’t find any meaning to reason with other, than proving everyone else’s opinions of me to be right.


The problem is – I always want to tell people the truth but then again I never handle the truth.


“Lots of people go through the same thing” —- “Some people have it worse”.


Sometimes you get so consumed with trying to be there for someone that you lose sight of being there for YOURSELF!!!


Wouldnt it be easier, if we didn’t need to socialize wit any1? If we could embrace solitude like an old friend. Our lives would be much less complicated, no?


I wish I could swim through conversations with others as easily as I swim through my own thoughts.


Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?


To those who lonelier out there.. Can I lost with you, in the bottom of rabbit’s hole, we keep.


I will love you, Till the river jumps over the mountain.. I will love you till China n Africa meet.


She replied : But we’re just using other people to eradicate our existential loneliness


“I can bear any pain as long as it has meaning.” – Haruki Murakami


I am in love with all the versions of you


She replied : I am very skeptic about soul. But isn’t everything we create just to ease the emptiness of existence?


Damaged people don’t call for others to know they’re damaged. I don’t ask a lot of people for help because i feel i can always handle it. I can but it wears me out. Its made me jaded. Angry. Hurtful. Malicious.


When the city goes quiet and the world falls asleep, I think about a lot of things: quotes from books I don’t remember, the future, butterflies, but most importantly, you.


I’m tired of falling for the wrong ones every time because they said they were right.


I wish I could meet more people who mean what they say, who call when they say they will, who show up because they want to, who talk to you genuinely and openly because they believe that you have a connection. I’m tired of faking things and making them look real. I’m tired of having deep conversations with people who forget them the next day.


When they make you feel special and then drop you like you meant nothing. When they find a way to unlock your heart and then lose the key. People are mean when they treat love as a game of numbers, as a game of who cares less, you are playing too many games and start to think that yourself is free.


Love is not frustrating. But modern dating is; the fact that you don’t know where you stand, you don’t know how many people the person you like is talking to, you don’t even know if the person you like likes you back or if they just want your attention or gaining profit from yours. Wants you highkey not your lowkey.


But the people you love could destroy you simply because they don’t know how to love or because they’ve never been loved. Sometimes people don’t know what love is and they keep trying on people’s hearts and end up breaking them. But real love is not destructive even if it’s hard. Real love is healing, it’s supposed to tame you and it’s supposed to make you stronger.


But the people you love could destroy you simply because they don’t know how to love or because they’ve never been loved. Sometimes people don’t know what love is and they keep trying on people’s hearts and end up breaking them. But real love is not destructive even if it’s hard. Real love is healing, it’s supposed to tame you and it’s supposed to make you stronger.


I’m sorry I thought we’re on the same page. I thought you wanted more. I thought you wanted to stay. I thought you felt it too. I’m sorry I thought you wanted this to work and you wanted this to last because I thought you wanted me. I’m sorry I tried too hard. I’m sorry I made an effort. I’m sorry I reached out a lot more than I should.


Your words are like waves at the edge of a beach, always flowing back and forth…


The voice of the sea is seductive, never ceasing, whispering, clamoring, murmuring, inviting the soul to wander in abysses of solitude.


I can only play if we’re on the same team, not opponents — if it’s us against others — if it’s us against the world.


Maybe it’s not about finding someone to love but letting go of all the ones you loved before. Maybe it’s about redefining love and what it means to you or maybe it’s about letting go of all the remains of your heartbreak so you can love with all your heart again. Maybe for now, your journey is about forgetting your exes and your past and focusing on moving on. Maybe the lesson is in completely moving on before finding someone else. Not because I can’t forget her.. Just because pains still remains there.


Maybe your journey is not about finding love, maybe it’s about loving yourself. Maybe it’s about rebuilding yourself or maybe it’s about walking away.


If this is a game, I don’t want to be part of it. I declare you a winner, if that’s what you care about. If all you want to do

VENT #5

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She could tell something was wrong and asked if I wanted to talk about it but how do I talk about the stupid illogical demons in my head without sounding like a depressed anxious nutjob.

But truthfully I just wish I could tell her how lonely I was today. How much self hate I felt. How selfish I feel and fat and how it has been so hard to find will today. How exhausted I am. How when I think about work I just want to curl up. And about how lonely I feel!!! And selfish! Did I say those already? I feel selfish because I’m lonely and I’m lonely because I feel selfish. I don’t want to rely on someone for comfort. Shouldn’t I just provide that for myself? But some days I just don’t know how to. But I try. But I feel awful. As I grow older I fear I mature and become unable to connect with people on a level where a bond and friendship occur.


I still remember my childhood was. At that time everyone think ‘do jail do home, that’s normal’ and seems everyone, they wanted to test you. Being witness of a crime and did the same thing too. Acted out like there’s no limit in our velocity (fast life). My life was so fuckin intense. Everyone has a chapter they won’t read out loud.


Wish that i can be loved with a love that were more than love.


She thinks of love and loves to think. She wonders if its really that deep or just brief. She gets lost in her own world. She’s on her own in a lost world.

He thinks of love and loves to think. He wonders if its really that deep or just brief. He gets lost in his own world. He’s on his own in a lost world.

They both think of love and love to think?. They need eachother to feel complete?. They’re two lost souls that become a whole when they meet?. They get lost in their own world. They’re on their own in a lost world.


I wish she were here and I feel stupid for not talking about it just acting like a sulky child not telling her anything. But I know also that that’s so irrational!

It’s circling Its all just circling.


Time is passing by, fast. We all feel it. It stresses us out when we wake up and somehow it’s half way through the year, or we are older than we ever imagined!

When we feel stressed by time, it’s most likely that we aren’t focused on what is most important to us, we haven’t put time into our goals and dreams and our resolutions are at best, words on a page.

Today, get honest about all the ways that you waste time. Saying you don’t have enough time is an easy excuse that we all use, but in reality, everyone gets the same 24 hours a day and some people get a lot more done. What are your time-eaters?. Facebook?. Surfing the Internet?. Eating?. Spending time on the phone?. Shopping?. Sleeping too much?. Constantly checking email hoping for something fun?

Get really clear on what you choose to make more important than your dreams and goals. No one wins when you don’t value your time wisely.


“I think I know you better than you know yourself. You are scared and alone and want someone to save you. But at the same time you want to save yourself.”


“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light ; I have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.” – Sarah “Sadie” Williams : The Old Astronomer


Just like the island. I want to be alone. And sometimes people come. Having good times. Getting drunk. Hooking up. But I know they’ll always leave. And Im used to the feeling. That if someone doesnt leave. It makes me wonder why. Because why would they stay?


It’s funny because. I think the best way to describe you when people ask about you is: “She was the only person that loved me with honesty, and I broke her.”


“You are shaking fists & trembling teeth. I know : You did not mean to be cruel. That does not mean you were kind.” – Venetta Octavia


Maybe you are not the last piece of my puzzle, but I will shape mind, so that it can fit into you. No?


I close my eyes and picture heaven because hell is my home.


I know you feel the pain, but i do


Why do people promise to be different and end up being exactly wat they swore try wouldn’t be?


Staring at my roof in the dark makes me think too much knowing there’s no one Awake or around or having no one. I really have sunk Into horrid manners and a bad state of mind…I knew bitterness but this is a level beyond my reach of understanding.


Loving yourself is the most unselfish thing you can do, because the more you love yourself the more you feel connected to everything and everyone


Moon is shining bright tonight, stars tinkling in the sky, wind is carelessly blowing, trees drop their leaves outside, still, my heart feels so uneasy, lost.


Monologue : “You are only weak because your heart is lost between good and evil, set your heart to one and be strong”


Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.


Your eyes are like galaxies. Mine are like the sea.. Difference is that yours are heavenly; mine are drowning.


C’est la vie. She goes her way, and I do, too. We used to live in the same world -both literally and metaphorically- now, our worlds are separated by a wide gap, even wider than global inequality gap.


I wish i can found mine, when i found you.