DIARY #6


The power in every relationship lies in the hands of the one who cares less…
But power isn’t happiness.


Relationships are like wine , if you give it time it will taste so fine , if you pop the bottle fast , you’ll empty the glass ..


Roses are red
Families get in feuds
All of you should
Send me some nudes


H.O.M.E. is Hopelessly Overthinking Missing Everyone..


” she’s got oceans tucked away in her hair, poems swim under her skin.”
– Sanober Khan


even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, i will love you.


damaged people are dangerous. they know they can survive.


don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.


“At some point in time when you stopped replying to my messages, my heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach or so it felt. You were out of reach and all I wanted to do was hold you but I kept apologizing for things I didn’t do in hopes that you would find your way back to me. If there’s one thing I learnt is you can’t make someone love you no matter how hard you try; some people are not meant to be in your life but only admired from afar.”


‘No-one has ever properly understood me, I have never fully understood anyone; and no-one understands anyone else.’


A person hears only what they understand, and whatever you cannot understand, you cannot possess.


Gw kehilangan oxytocin, phenethylamine, dan dopamine, ternyata se-simple itu


loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay for holding onto a sincere ambitious view of what companion should be.


The real challange of relationship is not to find the perfect match, it is to negotiate the differences without panic or nastiness, and stop blowing up perfectly good relationships and flawless scenarios.

Learning to give up on perfection may be just about the most romantic move that we could make.


‘I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary.

I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms’.


You’re my best friend I’d like to f… ondle beneath the violet midnight sky, while we’re gazing at the stars and their winking tiny sparks.


‘I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary.

I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms’.


Freethinkers are those who are willing to use
their minds without prejudice and without fearing to understand things that clash with their own customs, privileges, or beliefs. This state of mind is not common, but it is essential for right thinking..


dear sunshine would you give me your time, to give the could a chance.. when the dream has so blind

dear sunshine would you understand, all i need is the rain, to wash away all the pain.

oh cloudy sky, being eye witness of my happiness, reminiscent of my feeling fly above.. when I holding hand with the one I love (once).

how can i release all the pain, when all my efforts fallen into the vain.


The facts is Im going to get knocked down along such as in business relationship that perhaps will come to suddenly ended up and the contract wont be renewed.

Always be a day that people suddenly be weird with you. Quite a lot of things go wrong over a lifetime, and you will want to die.. cause only death that can cure all diseases beside you want to throw it all in and quit as painful world.

There is something I understand that suffering is not assigned that life is gone wrong, it is important part of everyone’ biography.. the only way is to learn is to fight and the difficulties are a sign that things are on track, that you are being rejected, and there are heaters and those are not evidences which implying u life is all wrong but proofs that you found something you worth living for..


Kenyataan dalam keluarga patriarki istri adalah pihak yg ditundukkan, dicabut hak pendidikan tinggi dan peran sosial, maka tidak ada cinta. Dalam keluarga patriarki  cinta datang dari agen aktif yg bernama laki-laki tapi kenyataannya energi itu adalah penaklukkan.

Curigailah kalo seorang laki-laki ngotot menyatakan cinta, karena baginya itu adalah energi penaklukkan. Dalam dunia patriarki adalah haram jika perempuan aktif menyatakan cinta dan sebagai agen aktif pula untuk memelihara pernikahan.

“Perkawinan paling oke kalo dibangun di atas relasi persahabatan dan saling hormat daripada cinta” (Mary Wollstonecraft)


Why would we ever repeat something that was deeply uncomfortable? even though it was horrible, it was still a love relationship.

There was abuse but also, lets imagine a degree of familiarity, admiration, attachment and even tenderness just like what hakmer said. they may have been belittling but it is what we got used to. it is not nice as such but it feels comfortingly, compellingly familiar.

We end up feeling hurt in love > we end up causing hurt in love.

We may end up doing the same thing to someone else, humiliating them in turn bossing them about, going cold on them, just when they are vulnerable to us. it is a primitive part of us thinks that the only way not to be abused it to be the abuser.

The investigation always start by tryn to understand ourselves, what did i suffer from the and of my early caregivers? emotional health means ecpanding on the number of people that we are free to fall in love with, and get used to something which might be eerily and challengingly, unfamiliar at firstly. being happy with someone who is properly and deeply good for us.


We may only be able to fall in love with people who are much less clever or responsible than we are, or who are really unreliable, who are selfish and self absordbed, or sarcastic and mean. it can be very puzzling to those around us and to ourselves.

Why on earth cant we settle down with people who are good for us? thats because what we are looking for in love is not necessarily someone who is nice, pure and simple, but someone who feels familiar. the one who continue unconsciously to guide our love types. the once who became our earlieest caregivers give us templates of what it is to love and be loved.

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