VENT #8


Floating inside my mind. The sea of thoughts, suffocating. With infinite stream of consciousness, taking me to places I’ve never been. Dark, cold, and quite.


Maybe your journey is not about finding love, maybe it’s about loving yourself. Maybe it’s about rebuilding yourself or maybe it’s about walking away.


Maybe I’m also waiting for you to reach out because I need a sign from you, I need something that tells me that it’s safe to enter your territory again, that even if I make a wrong move, I won’t get burnt. I need to know that you’re waiting for me because I can’t be anunwanted visitor again.


If you’ve been living in depression and darkness because of a personal tragedy, you have to believe that there is a way out, that there is more to life than despair, that hope still exists and you have to dig deeper to find it. I dig deeper into rabbit’s hole and nothing to found.


You added meaning to anything meaningless because that’s the whole point, right? Silly things make sense when you share them with the right person.



They’re deep and they only crave deep relationships. They don’t do casual flings or friends with benefits and the modern dating scene is not for them because when they like someone, they want to get to know them on a deeper level and they want to be able to talk to them about the profound issues in their lives and in the world.


We desire to be loved but we’re not willing to give that kind of love to anyone. We do everything to alienate the ones we love because we’ve been told that showing love is weakness, that vulnerability is uncool and that rejection means that there’s something wrong with us.


Don’t worry when I yell at you or when I blame you. Don’t worry when I throw tantrums and send you long essays explaining why I’m mad. Don’t worry when I knock on your door in the middle of the night because I’m hurt.


My silence is more dangerous than my words, my silence can destroy much more than my words ever will.

My silence means you’re no longer the one who’s occupying my thoughts and you’re no longer worth the noise.


You should worry when my messages become one word answers, worry when I no longer fight with you about what you say, worry when I stop knocking on your door, worry when I stop talking and when I stop reacting.

Because this means you’re no longer worth the fight, you’re no longer worth the anger and your flames that used to burn my passion have now turned cold.



You see, I love words, I live for words, I can keep writing words forever because I can feel them, because they come from my heart, because they represent my depth and because they’re honest. But I hate silence. I’m not comfortable with the words left unsaid, with feelings left unattended and being neglected.


Begin to understand that at the end of the day you’re the only one who can help yourself, so you start being proactive in solving your own problems.


Alone with your fears which consequently makes you fearless.


I want someone who understands rejection, someone who has been haunted by loneliness and someone who has been broken before but still knows how to love.


Because when you pain, you know love.


I don’t want someone who doesn’t know pain. I don’t want someone who doesn’t know what it’s like to suffer, what it’s like to hurt, what it’s like to feel like you’re the only one dying when everyone else is living.


I was broken, I can’t depend on you to fix me. I need to learn how to fix myself.


I’m the home you live in, the home you come back to when you’re tired because it comforts you, the home you need when you want to feel safe, the home you run to when you need to be understood and the home you go back to when you need to feel loved.


But only few who can offer their arms to me


You wanted a short vacation but you rented the wrong place. This is why you never had fun and I never let you in.


The reason why a lot of people prefer causal dating is that they don’t have to feel and when you don’t have to feel, you don’t have to hurt.


I think whether you’re ready or not, you still need love, you still crave someone to talk to when you’re all alone at night, you still wish you could find that person who could understand you when you can’t even understand yourself, you still want your wounds to be kissed by someone who can heal them and you still want someone to calm you down and shelter you from the noise of the world and the noise of your own thoughts.


Don’t believe someone when they tell you they’re not ready, they are but they just haven’t met the right person yet.

No one can decide if they’re ready or not because love is not something you can control and sometimes it just happens and you can’t explain why out of all the people in the world, your heart decided to beat for this specific person.

But once they do, they jump in with both feet, they take the risk, they fall in love and they don’t mind the scars and the bruises that come with this jump because it’s worth it.



Give me the things that will last whether we’re rich or poor. Give me the things that will matter no matter where we are.

Give me unforgettable conversations instead of dinners, shower me with your secrets instead of your gifts, pick me up when I’m feeling down instead of picking me up in a car, be my star instead of buying me stuffs and give me something the world can’t take back, give me something the world can’t break and give me something that will never lose its worth.


Rejection teaches us that life won’t always go our way but we will still survive, it teaches us that no matter how hard we want something, it still might not be ours and it teaches us that it can sometimes save us from something we were not prepared to handle.


Why do we have to feel guilty for getting rejected? Isn’t rejection another word for trying?


Rejection is another word for redirection.


It’s the lonely days and nights we have to endure waiting for the ones we love to love us back. It only hurts when we give that love to the wrong person, when we convince ourselves that we can make someone reciprocate our feelings


Texting and keep texting until the words loosing their meanings..


I’m sorry but life does not get better, it only gets harder and you must make the circumstances better. Living is not for the weak so stay strong and push through your burdens.


“And when you are in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-Slumping yourself is not easily done.” -Dr. Seuss


We got different case here. Iam the one who dumped her, for another worthless chick. But the way how she made self coping method to ease the pain, really made me feel bad… Then I realize she is unique one. What is lost is lost. She irreplaceable. I play the game till I’m lose.


Her demons got to be too much so she sought solace in a tree. The hanging tree.


So if im stronger than you in my frame. So you would be sadder than me.


Open up, open up.. And stab me from within.


I can’t share the best of mine.. Sorry. I only select few of them to enjoy my inner most.


If you were quicksand I don’t mind if you sucked me in, lost till the bottom of rabbit’s hole. I dont mind if we were lost together. Me and you vs loneliness..


 

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