A GLOOMY OF WONDERLUST



In this lifetime of turmoil
Am I chasing for a toil
All I do is being hard, real hard
If I cant prevail, rest my own body in sward
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I didnt have no birthdays, I didnt have no christmas
I didnt have no tables with food and shit
I didnt have the new kicks
My daddy didnt loan them
But we dont have the money to do this shit
 

We are diamond in the rust
Who keep become wanderlust
To diamond whos shining and enlivening
Im so young
Im the one
I want to run
Walk Beneath the sun, Lie beneath the stars
We grow upon the earth, And this is what we are
Take a bottle of the Advil, hoping it'll kill me if I only go to sleep


Late night im fuckin sweep, they think that im just a creep
Its to late to go back now, shit
so I slit my wrists now I'm in this shit deep
I slit my wrist to erase the pain
youu look at me like i am insane

Looking at the blood run
My head start to spun
a couple drips then shit now it's on like a puddle
my blurry vision become ruddle
Blood started gushing I could feel my soul was rushing
I fucked up and now my former self is leaving
Everybody get they reasons and, this shit is all exterior, no more internal bleeding
No hurt feeling, at least im knowing this is the end season of wounding

They say time heals all wounds but I've been fucked up ever since I was a child
So troubled and wild, why you think in every school picture I never did smile
Ain't been happy in a while
they tell me I'm an animal, what the fuck else you expect? I grew up in a jungle
you was fucking afraid that im ready to strangle


And now I'm all fucked up on the bathroom floor just sitting here bleeding
Thinking about leaving
before my parents come in
and catch me and see me not breathing

or I wish I'm all fucked up with a bullet in my chest somehow
and I'm praying to lord, Never did before but fuck it if I go right now
Stumbling back, barely can walk, "Do you wanna take another shot?"
Dont tempt me

If you go right now in the end, do you think God is the one you'll be facing
Maybe it could be satan, shit maybe nobody could be waiting
Maybe we all end up in a fucking box with a lid on top
And met god with some of his trollop while he standing on his antelope
This shit is up for debating
For those who indoctrinating and beliefs that we inhabiting, and religion which corrupting

But the fact of the matter is if I don't know then you dont know either
Brain washed as a kid to believe in your parents beliefs, just ask the preacher
I was in the corner by myself looking at the other kids, knowing I was different
Im Like a fish that swimming through on undercurrent
murder them with the verbal and people'll call it venomous
but shit, that's only life for the moment
how can I win when time's my opponent?

			

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