What if everything in the world had shrunk to half size overnight. how would we know? I’d be half as tall, but the ruler would be only half as long, so I couldnt tell.

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.

Henry Ford

Sometimes i wonder if im anemic only because my blood is too tired to run through my own veins..

Sometimes I’m scared of you loving me. coming to know me. I’m scared of your fingers tracing my skin and you finding the ridges, the physical evidence of the pieces that are held together by only a thin layer of glue. im scared that when a piece or two comes unhinged you wouldn’t wait for me to fit it back into place. im scared because i know if we love it means another chance to hurt, to break. and i already have too many pieces. if i shatter again i don’t think i could find them all – the fear of breaking what’s already broken.

‘You’re a puzzle with missing pieces and although what you’ve lost is unique you look for it in others.

You cling to those who hold misplaced shards, desperate to find one to fill your own holes but don’t you know, those pieces you take, you forget to return? you now hold a box of keys with no locks to fit and leave behind a trail of broken souls.

But you hunger, you crave to be filled but you put your search in destruction and all that’s left is a box of puzzle pieces that have no match a container of lost spirits..’

(and im one of them)

“What are you waiting for?. Have faith in my chemical compassion. Let me have your abyss.” – Wislawa Szymborska

I bet you were out last night,
Locking lips and moving hips,
Hands on her waist moving south,
Her hands in your hair pulling you closer,
The taste of cigarettes, drugs and alcohol on your breath.

You were in that dizzy intoxicated state of euphoria,
Liquid confidence running through your veins, nothing mattered you was forgetting about everything, and in that forgetting about me,

You pick her up, take her to a separate room, your mates are cheering and happy now, you’re forgetting me more and more. Clothes fall to the floor, lips and hands explore,

Your phone buzzes, it’s me you swear and turn it off, not even checking it .
As I’m laying in bed wondering why you haven’t texted back, you said we’d talk.

You’re getting your fill of another girl, it feels so good you forget me and the guilt.
My own paranoia sets in, I’m already accusing you of doing it, but your phone is deadly silent.

You’ll have smoked another joint, then fell asleep, with her on your chest.
You made me a promise nothing would happen, that you’d stay committed to me in this space, no matter how stoned or drunk you got. I told you those wouldn’t fly as excuses for me, because the intention would have always been there, they just gave you the confidence boost you needed.

I should be hurting, I should be crying and tearing up those pictures, but I’m not I just feel numb for now. Maybe when you wake up, see what you’ve done and your own guilt sets in, and you finally see all my messages. Maybe then when you have to shakily type out what happened, maybe when your number pops up on my screen and I read the message, maybe then it’ll set in and what’s left of my fragile heart will break.

Time is a space
Lost in a dark lonely place

Tucked away, but never forgotten
It can soothe, but also rotten

As time goes by, day to night
For just a little more of it we fight

It goes by so fast
We all just want it to last and last


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