STREAM OF CONCIOUSNESS


Once again I feel lonely.
It was easier to be alone when there’s no one I wanted to be with or felt I needed.
I never felt lonely cause I never felt constant company.
But now I’ve become a shadow to them.

I’ve grown comfortable following after someone & being forgotten behind.
I tell them I feel misunderstood and invisible. I’ve poured out my feelings, found myself begging for compassion.


But no matter how bad I pray, shadows can’t be felt.
I’ve taught myself to feel satisfied with their illusion of touch.
They’ve taught themselves to be satisfied with my surface.


I project.
I bathe in the radiation of their heat.
How can we be so close but never cross?
I’ve revealed my weakness, bartered my best vulnerability.
Yet still every night, when the sunset on their cheeks, I am allowed to be swallowed by the darkness.


Still behind and loney.
Encouraged to be forgotten.

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